


My Savior, My Lifeline

by ThatWasRealSubtleBentley



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-04-11 18:41:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19115467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWasRealSubtleBentley/pseuds/ThatWasRealSubtleBentley
Summary: Alex was alone when Clementine found her and since then they've been through hell, until an unfortunate incident separates them. When Clementine arrives at Ericson's Boarding School, who would have imagined she would find her long-lost companion here? With the threat of the raiders looming over them, she realizes she has feelings for Alex, but will their reunion be short-lived?[Cross-posted on Fanfiction.net & Wattpad.com]





	1. Frosty

?

I'm running for my life. My chest is tightening as I sprint, my breathing coming out as sharp, ragged pulls for oxygen, the cold air burning in my lungs. They're coming is all I can think, the two words repeating themselves in my head like a broken record. Yet I am numb, unfeeling and unresponsive, except for the laborious strides my legs are taking, automatically leading me through the chunky trees of the forest.

They're coming.

I heaved myself over a fallen tree, ensuring the cord, with a solitary gold ring threaded on it, I clasped in my hand was secure. Slowing my pace down to a jog, I tuck it into my jean pocket so as not to lose it.

They're coming.

I ease my jog up to a run, eager to increase the gap between myself and them, whoever they were. I didn't stick around to find out. I grabbed the necklace and bolted.

My run is at a steady pace, but I know I will have to slow down and stay quiet soon. I don't want to attract those things. I pause for a moment, draw her knife, and keep going. The sharp smell of damp soil lingers in my nostrils and the wet leaves squelch under my mud-coated boots. I readjust the straps on my backpack and push my grimy glasses up my nose, the lenses smudged with fingerprints and flecks of blood. I pull my beanie, a discoloured white now resembling a shade closer to grey, out of my back pocket and drag it over my head before pressing on.

I take two steps before I hear a twig snap underfoot. I take half a step before realising it wasn't under my foot.

"I wouldn't do anything rash if I were you," says a female voice behind me. It sounded youthful, but it had a no-nonsense, cold edge to it. It sounded like it belonged to someone who was well beyond their years. I feel the cold barrel of a gun pressed against the back of my head. The simple touch of it makes me sick to my stomach. I announce that I'm going to place my knife on the ground and raise my hands. Slowly, I carry out the actions I promised.

"Now turn around, slowly," says the voice, to which I comply. Standing before me is a girl no older than myself, sporting a grubby baseball cap. A small, chubby face appears over the girl's shoulder; the face of a toddler. The toddler stares at me. I stare back.

"Are you alone?" asks the girl with the gun. "I heard a gunshot."

"That wasn't me," I reply. "I don't carry firearms."

The cap-wearing girl pulls a face of surprise before saying, "If that wasn't you, then we better get going. I don't want to find the people who did fire that shot."

"They're not friendly."

The girl with the cap doesn't reply and walks off. After a few strides, she pauses, registering that I wasn't following. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah."

I jog to catch up to her.

***

?

Night has fallen, the crispness of the afternoon has been replaced with an unwelcome chill. The Cap had said it would be best to set up a camp as she was too far away from her community.

"A community? I've always avoided those," I reply, grimacing. The Cap responds with a heavy sigh, bouncing the toddler on her lap. He continues to stare at me.

"You got a name?" I ask the Cap.

"Clementine. And this is AJ. What about you?"

"Alexandra-" I cringe, as I hate the name, "-Alex," I reply, extending a hand. Reluctantly, Clementine takes the hand, and shakes it. I note a tattoo she has on her hand, reading 'AJ'. I conclude that the girl has raised the toddler thus far and that his parents were probably dead. Judging from the lack of family resemblance, I suspect that they probably weren't related. But the tattoo and Clementine's manner with him suggest that she loves him more than anything.

We sit in silence, the weak crackling of the campfire barely filling the mute void. I retrieve the cord from my pocket and let the ring sit in the palm of my hand while the damaged cord dangles. My gaze is locked on the ring, yet I feel nothing. No grief or sadness, just numbness. I shoot a quick glance at Clementine, who is sat against a tree and is gently talking to AJ. I tie the frayed ends of the cord together, forming a tight knot. I examine my handiwork before threading it over my head.

Clementine looks up and spots the glint of gold on my chest. "What's that you've got there?" she asks. I don't reply, instead staring into the red flames of the fire. I watch out of the corner of my eye, I can see that she is staring at me. She seems taken aback by my indifference to the fact that I had completely ignored her. "Rude," she mutters, shaking her head in disbelief. She thinks that I didn't hear. She pulls AJ closer. "Are you warm enough, Goofball?" she coos, leaving a gap for him to respond. Nothing.

"He doesn't talk much, does he?" I pipe up, pulling my beanie more securely onto my head, my unkempt brown hair jutting out of the hat. I watch as Clementine's face creases with concern. "How old is he?" I continue.

"About two."

"He should be talking at this age."

"I know," Clementine grumbles, pulling AJ even closer to her. I can see his tiny body violently shivering against hers. Seeing the tiny tot suffering in this climate is painful. Watching Clementine's desperate and futile attempts to help him sends a pang of pity straight into my chest. I barely know this girl, yet I want to help them out.

"Here," I start as I peel my denim jacket off, "he needs this more than I do." I gently place the jacket around AJ's shoulders.

"Are you sure?" Clementine asks with a concerned expression - this time for my wellbeing, not AJ's.

"I'll be fine," I admit. Judging from the fact that I'm only sporting a T-shirt, Clementine looks unconvinced. I tense my body to mask my shivering and fold my arms across the chest for warmth. "He's just a baby. He's a lot more delicate than I am," I add as I push my glasses up my nose. The fire dies down, the faint lick of warmth it was providing me evaporating away, allowing the bone-chilling elements to work their way into my skin. I gently blow on my hands. I try to keep it quiet enough so Clementine doesn't hear. She's watching AJ slowly nod off, gently caressing his tiny head. She looks up at me.

"Thank you," she whispers, smiling with gratitude.

"No worries," I reply flatly with a dismissive wave of my hand, fighting to keep the shivering out of my voice. She gently brushes a few strands of hair out of her face.

"You don't talk much either."

I shrug. "What is there to talk about?"

"Maybe the fact that you're absolutely freezing?" she presses, shooting me a disapproving look.

"It's no concern of yours," I pathetically mumble, feeling my brow furrow into a scowl.

"It is when I have your jacket right here," she retorts. "Now stop being a stubborn idiot and get over here."

I feel my face twist with a perplexed expression. "Uh... why?"

"It's warmer when you're with other people," she offers weakly. She seems unsure of herself, as if she doesn't know what she's trying to offer. I can tell she's struggling to make her mind up about me; whether she can trust me or not. She's cautious, and even though I'm freezing my ass off, I respect her approach to me. While she's struggling to decide whether I'm trustworthy, I'm likewise unsure of her.

I shake my head. "Clementine, no offence, but I don't know you. I mean, you did have a gun to my head only a few of hours ago."

"I don't know you either, yet I'm letting you stay," she says simply. "But if you want to freeze to death, that's your choice."

We sit in silence again and I concentrate all my energy on not letting my teeth chatter. I watch Clementine and study her. Strong, quiet, pretty.

What? Where did that come from? I remind myself that I only just met this girl. I know nothing about her. I don't know where she's from and I haven't got the slightest idea of the things she's done to survive. I've done some grisly things myself - who hasn't? - but I don't know why she might have done said gruesome things. Has she done stuff to protect herself, or just for the hell of it? Mother or sadist? Who knows? The wind whistles, lapping at my ears and chewing my skin. As I sit shivering, I recall that Clementine mentioned she was trying to get back to her community, so I ask her about it.

"They're called the New Frontier," she says, "and they're based in Richmond."

"And they took you and AJ in?"

She nods.

"If they take in a defenceless kid who can't contribute, then I take it that they're an accepting group?" I muse aloud.

She frowns at me. "Just because AJ is a kid-"

"-who said I was talking about AJ?" I interrupt, feeling a cocky smile grow on my face. She scowls even harder before her face melts into a smile. She lets out a small, sweet laugh. "Sorry, I couldn't resist," I apologise, my face still wearing a half-smile. "In all seriousness, the fact that you're looking after a baby is incredible. I mean, I guess we're like the same age? I can barely take care of myself."

She smiles at the compliment and I feel the chill leave my body. I sit up from my slouched position and shuffle closer to her. "You really have your shit together, Clementine. I respect that," I say, awkwardly looking away from her. What the hell am I doing? I only just met this girl... could this be viewed as flirting? I hope not.

"If anyone has made it this far," she replies, "then they have their shit together. You need to if you want to live."

"Debatable."

"Why's that?"

"I dropped my gun down a sewer drain months ago," I confess. "I was running away from some of the dead. I tripped over and let go of my gun. I watched it skid across the road and clatter straight down the drain," I resume, my voice adopting an unimpressed tone. I sigh, before continuing. "It's one of those stupid mistakes that ultimately get you killed. But for some reason, despite these screw-ups, I seem to be able to get out of some really tight spots. I don't know if it's reflexes or quick-thinking or simply luck, but there have been a lot of close calls that I should not have survived."

"I say that shows you have your shit together," she offers, rubbing her nose.

"For how long though?" I return. "One of these days, I'm going to end up in a tight spot that I won't be able to get out of. I can feel it." I feel my throat tighten as soon as I finish speaking. How much time do I have left? Days? Weeks? My stomach turns thinking about it. My pessimistic thoughts are interrupted by AJ, who emits a tiny squeak as he sleeps. Clementine beams as he shuffles in her arms. My heart melts at the sight of the pair. She peers up and I'm caught looking.

"Alex?"

"What?"

"You were looking at me."

"No, I wasn't."

"You were."

"Nope."

She glares at me and I can't tell if she's genuinely annoyed or is trying to mask a smile. It's unnerving. Clementine looks terrifying when she's pissed. She's even harder to read. It looks as though she's debating whether she would rather stab me or beat me up. Scary.

She attempts to stifle a yawn with little success.

"You get some sleep, I'll keep watch," I offer. She thanks me and starts to drift off while I prepare myself for a long, bitter night.

***

Clementine

I wake up to AJ poking my face, a habit he's recently gotten himself into whenever he wants my attention. I gently grasp his tiny hand to restrain him.

"That's enough Goofball," I murmur sleepily. He desists his prodding, allowing me to rub my eyes. The bright sunlight is painful at first, but my eyes readjust. I look over to Alex, who is still awake. I blink a few times before register that she looks blue. "Oh my god!" I exclaim, hastily placing AJ on the floor and springing to my feet.

"Morning, Clem," she utters weakly with a pained smile. I whip the jacket off AJ and force her to put it on, which is a clumsy and uncoordinated process.

"Are you okay?" I cry, unable to register what was happening.

"I'm fine," Alex slurs, "I just can't feel my face. Or my legs. Or anything."

I start panicking, unsure of what do to. AJ starts bawling on the ground, clearly hungry. I try to calm him down, painfully conscious of the attention he is going to attract. I watch as Alex sinks out of consciousness, rolling onto her side. I curse. Is she dead? I don't want to stay long enough to find about, but what if she's okay? I can't just abandon her! If she hadn't given me her jacket, this would be AJ instead; she was right, he is more delicate!

She mumbles something, but I can't work out what it is. She's alive! I grab AJ and place him on my back, his screaming piercing my ears. "AJ! You will eat soon but now you need to keep quiet!" I plead, hoisting Alex's backpack over mine. I drop to my knees and slap her face. She stirs, her icy blue eyes briefly locking onto mine. "I'm going to get you out of here," I say shrilly, watching her fade back into unconsciousness. I fumble on her neck to find a pulse; it's dangerously weak.

I think about how far away my car is. Twenty minutes? Thirty? I'm not sure, but I know it will take even longer to get Alex there. I grab her under her arms and start dragging her. She's a lot lighter than I was expecting but we have a long way to go. AJ isn't settling down and it's making my ears ring. I keep dragging Alex but I starting to feel the strain creep into my arms.

Two walkers emerge from the distance, clearly being drawn in by AJ's crying. "Come on Alex! Work with me!" I hiss as I pull her along faster. She's not stirring. For now, the walkers are a comfortable distance away from us, but it would only be a matter of time before that distance shrunk. I pass a decaying, mossy log, which I think nothing off until I see the rotting arm of a walker shoot out from underneath, grabbing onto Alex's boot. It crawls out of its hiding place. I drop my companion, whip out my knife and lunge towards the walking corpse, sinking my blade into its head. It stops moving.

I sheath my knife and pull out my gun instead, before heaving Alex back up. As I drag her along, the arm of the walker I just killed breaks off, its hand still tightly latched onto her foot. Gross. I have to keep moving and I do. I keep dragging, dragging, dragging, constantly watching all my surroundings for any walkers. More of them seem to be cropping up in the distance and no matter how hard I beg, AJ will not stop crying.

I hear a walker snarl behind me. Instantly, I twist around, still holding onto Alex with one hand, and fire a round. The bullet embeds itself right between the eyes of the walker and it drops to the ground like a sack of potatoes. The gunfire causes AJ to start screaming harder and I wince in pain. I keep dragging Alex, who is still showing no signs of stirring.

It feels like an eternity of dragging Alex, killing walkers, and enduring AJ's cries before I reach the car. A brief wave of relief rushes over me as soon as I lay my eyes upon that scrap heap, but I don't stop. I feels my muscles screaming as I continue to pull Alex, yelling as I go: "Come on Alex! Stay with me! We're almost there!"

"W-what's going on?" she mumbles weakly.

"You're almost safe," I pant, feeling my legs buckle beneath me. "I just need your help to get past the last little bit. Can you walk?"

"Yes," she mumbled. I stop dragging Alex and help her to her feet, with her arm hooked around my neck, mine around her waist for support. The sudden lack of strain on my arms is a sweet relief, and we stagger to the car. I open the read passenger door and bundle Alex inside, before tearing open the front passenger side door and placing AJ on the seat. I buckle him up and hastily slam the car door. As I spin around, a walker lunges at me, pinning me against the car. My muscles start singing in agony again as soon as they have to hold up more weight and I find that I can't move. I feel my arms slowly give way beneath the walker, drawing it in closer...

My face is sprayed with a cold, disgusting-smelling liquid and the walker sags in my arms. I shove it away from me, where it tumbles to the ground. I breathe heavily, unable to process what had just happened. And then I see the knife sticking out of its head. I look to my left and find an exhausted-looking Alex clinging to the car door.

"Could you get my knife for me?" she asked quietly. "Because if I let go of this car door I will fall over."


	2. Ritualistic Burning

Alex

I don't remember what happened after I killed the dead thing except for when the leafy ground went flying towards my face. I wake up and everything is a blurry mess. I squint hard, which does little to focus my surroundings. With a clumsy hand, I pat the flimsy table to my left for my glasses and I find them. Remembering how filthy they were, I give them a quick wipe with my shirt before putting them on. The room snaps back into a sharp focus, although the dim light is bent by the still-present smudges on my glasses. So much for that.

I'm in a tent, not a room, and it's empty. I sit up, noticing that my jacket is hung over a nearby camping chair. My boots, which are caked in mud, are neatly placed beneath the chair and my backpack beside it too. Something on my right boot catches my eye: gouge marks. How did that happen? Was I grabbed? The thought of the dead sinking its fingers into me send chills down my spine. I've seen them tear into people on a few occasions, watched them shred the soft skin of terrified adults who know that it's the end for them. I unwillingly revisit these people in my sleep, watching the dead rip into them like wet paper, their agonised screams ringing in my ears.

I stretch my feet and wiggle my toes. It's nice to feel them again. All I remember is the harsh cold creeping into my body, consuming me. I try to recall what happened. All I can remember is numbness and Clementine yelling. I wring my hands, also relieved to be able to feel them again. I rub them together to warm them and I'm grateful for the embracing sensation of the heat I generate.

I hear voices coming from outside the tent. I hear one male voice and one female.

"It's a good thing you brought your friend here as quickly as you did, otherwise she would not have made it," he says.

"It wasn't easy, but I did what I could," says the other voice, which I work out to be Clementine's. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and I get up. I feel light-headed and collapse back onto the bed. Head rush.

The pair enter the tent. The man, who I assume from his white coat is a doctor, looks like he's in his late thirties, maybe early forties. He has short brown hair and is sporting black-framed glasses. He has a cold, stern face. I spot something on the back of his left hand and I'm pretty sure it's a burn of some kind. Its pattern perplexes me. I look up to Clementine, whose face instantly lights at as soon as she sees me.

"Alex!" she says excitedly. She weaves past the doctor and dashes up to the bed, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're okay," she effuses. I'm not sure what to do so I gingerly pat her back with a single hand.

"I'm fine. How's AJ?" I ask, still patting her. She partially releases the hug; she still has her arms around me. I awkwardly readjust my glasses since her hug knocked them askew.

"He's doing fine, thanks to you," Clementine says, her brown eyes locked onto mine. I could swear for a split second I saw her well up. It's no wonder, she loves that boy.

"You saved my life. We're even," I say, offering a soft smile. She smiles back at me and I start to feel my stomach knot up slightly. I feel my face start to burn and awkwardly look away.

"So," says the man, interrupting our moment, "Miss Alexandra-"

"I prefer Alex, if you don't mind," I correct, trying hard to not sound rude. Clementine straightens up. She brushes the two strands of hair away from her face as she sits on the bed beside me.

"Very well," he says with a small nod. "Alex, I'm Doctor Lingard." He extends his hand, which I grasp and shake firmly.

"Nice to meet you."

"You are lucky to be alive, Alex, especially in these conditions." I think he's referring to the fact that society had crumbled and taken nearly everything with it. With no indoor heating available on-demand, everyone's more likely to freeze to death. And I very nearly did. He looks at me as if I'm some sort of miracle child, which I find unsettling. "You're lucky Clementine was with you."

"Very lucky," I affirm, "aside from the part where she held me up." I turn to her. "That wasn't the best first meeting."

"It was just a precaution," she says to Lingard. "I've already explained it to David. She was travelling alone, and I heard gunfire."

"Before you ask," I add, "I don't know who was attacking. But they didn't follow me."

"-which I already mentioned to David," said Clem this time directed to me. I want to ask her who the hell David is but decide against it, at least until Lingard has gone.

I stand up and extend my hand out to Lingard, which he takes. "Thank you," I say to him. "You helped me even though I'm not a part of this community. I really appreciate it." He says nothing, but nods before turning and leaving the tent, leaving me alone with Clementine. I scoop up my boots from beside the chair and return to my spot on the camp bed.

"You do need to work on your introductions," I say as I pull on my boots and lace them. "Some people might get the wrong idea and think you're a psycho killer." She snorts with laughter and gently nudges me. I lazily shove her back. "So," I start awkwardly, "tell me about this place. What's their setup?"

"This is the New Frontier. There are four leaders: David, Joan, Clint, and Lingard, who you've just met," she says simply. "We're currently searching for a place to rebuild, to home this community."

"And no luck so far?"

She shakes her head. "A lot of these places are filled with walkers. Clearing them out will be too dangerous."

"Walkers, huh?" I highlight with a small laugh. "You mean the dead?"

Clementine shrugs apologetically. "It's what I've always called them."

"I like it. Mind if I start using it?" I ask with a small chuckle, while simultaneously gripping the frames of my glasses and pulling them up my face. Someone else enters the tent: a tall man with a serious, determined expression. I note his brand is located on his neck.

"Alex," he says with a seemingly fatherly hint to his voice. Clementine and I both stand. "Come this way; the others are waiting for you.

***

Clementine

Alex seemed eager enough to join New Frontier. They helped her, and she wanted to give something back. The four leaders were convinced that she would be a capable member, especially since I vouched for her too. That seemed to do very little since she gave a convincing account of how much of a fighter she is, her firearm ability (omitting the sewer drain incident, I noticed), and that she can look after herself and groups effectively, even her ability to drive, which surprised them, considering her age.

I get the vibe that she's more hardened than me yet her oddly jovial manner also suggests otherwise. She seems to change between Miss-Friendly and Miss-Serious as if someone has flipped a switch. I can't read her. Either way, she won't talk about her past. She didn't with me and she revealed nothing to New Frontier. Before we were allowed to leave, David pulled me aside and asked me to gently explain how our 'rite of passage' works here, believing that it would be best coming from me, instead of them. Judging from the thunderous look on Joan's face, it seemed that she didn't approve of the softer approach David wanted to take with her.

"Alex," I say as I pull up my left shirt sleeve, "you see this?"

She examines the New Frontier brand on my arm and says "That's the same mark the doctor had. And David. And everyone else... oh." Her face drops when she realises what they do here. "What the fuck, Clem?! When they said I had to prove my loyalty," she says, clearly freaking out, "I thought they meant help out with the place, not mutilate myself!" She frantically paces around the tent; the tent AJ and I were assigned but offered to share with my new companion.

"It'll be okay," I reassure gently, approaching her.

"How can it be okay?!" she shouts. "They're going to get a white-hot piece of metal and press is against my arm! It's going to burn the shit out of me and blister me and the best part? When they pull the branding iron off my arm, it'll come away with skin! My skin!" She yells "Shit!" and sends a camping chair flying with a swift kick. It crashes into the camp bed, denting the metal frame slightly with an oddly satisfying clang. I grab her arm, which is unlikely to make a statement since she stands a couple of inches over me.

"Alex, I know this isn't ideal," I press, "but what choice do you have? You either do what they want, or they throw you out. Not being on the road all the time is the better choice. You have to trust me with this."

She stops her rage-induced pacing, her pissed expression sinking into a worried one. She looks like a scared kid, her round face emphasising her fear. I recall that she is, we both are, still kids, deep down. We just forget it most of the time.

"Can't I just get a marker and draw it on?" she pleads helplessly. "Or, get it inked on? You've got a tattoo," she points to my hand, "surely you know how to do it? You could tattoo their mark on me. It would be just the same and we can do it in sessions and..." she falters, tears of frustration welling up in her eyes.

I sadly shake my head and place my hand on her shoulder. "It's not that bad," I say softly. "They won't let you go out on their searches until it's fully healed. Lingard will keep an eye on you. They're not monsters."

"Uh, hello?" she mustered weakly. "They brand people. That sounds about as much fun as a twisted bra strap, Clem!"

I smirk. "It's easier to deal with than the strap," I say, trying to lighten the situation. Alex lets out a hollow chuckle, shaking her head sadly. She looks up at me, with a pained expression on her face. She looks weary and exhausted, the time on the road taking its toll, showing its mark. "You need to stop this lone wolf attitude," I add, "because you'll end up dying for nothing. This is for the best, Alex. Trust me."

She stops and rubs her face with both hands while letting out a deep sigh. "I guess it is a small price to pay for somewhere safe," she says wearily. "I can't believe I'm actually considering this," she says as she faces me. "I'll do it." And with that, she drags the sleeve of her T-Shirt up, exposing her left shoulder. She points to it and asks, "Is here okay?"

I nod. Although they prefer the mark to be in plain sight, where you have the brand placed is entirely your choice. After all, burning a pattern into your skin is a big ask, the least they can do is let you decide where you get scorched.

"Then let's go." She suddenly strides out of the tent with the sleeve still rolled over her shoulder. I, not expecting her to leave so soon, scramble to follow her. As we pass through the camp, everyone stops and watches the newcomer as she determinedly passes them, preparing for the initiation ritual. I half-run, half-walk behind her, struggling to keep up with her pace. She marches up to David, who is talking to Lingard, and announces that she is ready. The look of surprise on his face suggests that he wasn't ready to hear that from Alex so soon, but his shock is replaced with an expression that faintly resembles pride. Something tells me David wouldn't have been thrilled to be forced to turf Alex out.

He places his hand on her sleeved shoulder and leads her back to the central campfire, passing the tent we emerged from en route. As we pass, I quickly check on AJ, who I left with a woman who I believe once had kids before the walkers came. They're nowhere to be seen now. He is sat on a sheet, examining a twig from the ground.

"Hey Goofball," I say softly as I crouch down to him. He says nothing. He looks at me and I see a small smile creeping on his face. Alex's words circle my head.

"He should be talking at this age."

I feel anxiety creep into my throat. I always talk to him, yet he can't speak. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or if there is anything I can do to fix it. It eats away at me from time to time.

"I won't be long now," I continue, warily looking up at Alex as she walks off with David. AJ looks back at the twig he is clutching in his chubby fist, his brow furrowing as he studies it. His face lights up as he holds the twig up to me, inviting me to look at it. I chuckle. "Very nice, AJ." I tickle him under his neck which causes him to squeal with delight. "I'll be back soon." I climb to my feet and weave my way through the camp, skipping over tent pegs and pushing my way through the gathering crowd.

There she is; Alex is stood before David, Joan, Clint, and Lingard, her facial expression stoic, her jaw set, her eyes unmoving before the dozens of faces staring at her. There's also a guy standing near the fire, heating up the branding iron. Joan steps up to the crowd, preparing to speak.

"Today," she says, the crowd falling deathly silent, "we have someone who wishes to join our community. This girl-" She points at Alex. "-has endured all of the hardships on the road and survived! She is a resilient fighter, one who can fight for herself and for others! But, as credible as these statements may be, these are just claims! She will need to prove herself and her abilities, prove herself worthy to be a part of this cause. Before she does that, she needs to prove her unwavering loyalty to us, the New Frontier!"

Silence. No one dares makes a sound. The guy pulls the brand out of the fire and its glowing a dangerously fierce white-orange. I feel my own brand tingle as I recall how painful it was; I screamed, and I couldn't stop myself. It was easily more painful than the time I cleaned and stitched up the dog bite on my own with a sewing needle.

Nervously, Alex tugs at her shirt sleeve, ensuring that it is out of the way. The branding guy approaches her, pulling a hip-flask out of his pocket. He offers it to her and she takes a sip. She pulls a face and starts coughing. He whispers something to her, I can't make out what, but judging from the fact that she drains the rest of its contents, he had indicated that she ought to drink all of it. She hands the flask back, losing her balance slightly as she does so. She ensures, yet again, that her shirt sleeve is out of the way and points to her shoulder. The branding guy nods and holds the branding iron level to her chosen spot of mutilation.

She stands there, her back straight, her arms still, her sparkling ring hanging from the cord around her neck. Her eyes are set dead straight, as if they are unseeing. She doesn't move a single muscle, standing as sturdy as the nearby trees. It's an incredible sight. She looks almost fearless, and in this moment, she earns my complete and unwavering respect. I'm proud of her and I feel pride's swell in my chest.

He presses the iron against her shoulder and Alex buckles slightly before regaining her composure, her facial expression unchanged. The firelight catches the tears streaming down her face, making them visible. She bites her lip and screws up her eyes, the burning sensation clearly getting to her. This is agonising to watch and as soon as I start to have thoughts about telling them to stop, the guy pulls the iron away from her, taking a string of skin with it.

Alex watches as the iron is pulled away and doesn't initially register what the weird stringy object coming off her is. Whatever was in that hipflask was clearly some strong stuff. Then she clocks it. Her eyes widen, and her legs give way beneath her. She tumbles to the ground, only to be caught by David, who lunges towards her, clearly anticipating what was going to happen. She hangs limply, unconscious.

"Alexandra is now one of us, one of the New Frontier!" she announces. No one cheers, no one applauds. Everyone stands in silence. A soft breeze whistles through the camp but it has a wintry hint to it. It chills me, forcing me to gingerly untie my jacket from around my waist and put it on, trying hard to not make a sound or draw attention to myself. After what seems like decades, the crowd is dismissed, and I shove through people, ignoring their protests, to get to Alex, who is being carried by David to the medical tent. As soon as I'm clear of the crowd I sprint to the pair. David beckons for me to follow and I do.

***

Alex

I come to, surprise surprise, on another camp bed, but this time it's within a more open tent. My shoulder is screaming in agony and I can't move it. I turn my head to inspect it and find it's tightly wound with bandages.

"Glad to see you're awake," says a voice to my right. My head snaps to its direction.

"Clem," I say, greeting her. She's sat on a chair on my bedside. "We need to stop meeting like this," I add with a cheeky smirk. She smiles but shakes her head disapprovingly, acting as if she's sick of my dopey jokes. But I can tell she likes them. Me on the other hand? I'm not getting those like-like vibes from her and it's disappointing. Maybe time will tell? I try to pull myself up but struggle on account of the stiffness in my shoulder. Clementine leaps up to help me out and I swing my feet, booted this time, over the camp bed. I ask what happened.

"You passed out," she answers. "I think it was the pain and when you saw your skin on the iron. You could see that it took you a couple of seconds to realise what was going on."

"It's a bit pathetic," I grumble, annoyed with my weak display of endurance. I lick my bottom lip and discover the metallic taste of blood. I examine my lip with my fingers and find the tissue is ragged. I must have bit it really hard when I was being branded, yet I don't remember the biting at all.

"It wasn't," Clementine says while I examine the lip damage. "You took it really well. You didn't make a sound. I screamed like a bitch with mine, with the whisky too." That stuff is strong. And gross. I assume from Clementine's statement that the supply of alcohol is routine in the ritual. She's right, they're not complete monsters. I muster a weak smile, indicating that I appreciate her efforts at making me feel better. "You were really brave. I've seen a few newcomers go through that, and your reaction was the strongest I've ever seen. It was probably the strongest anyone has seen here. You looked unstoppable."

"Thanks, Clementine," I say, rubbing my neck as I feel my cheeks burning, not from an iron, but from blushing. Why am I reacting like such an idiot? It's a simple compliment for Christ sake! A woman comes by the tent with AJ and hands him over to Clementine, and she thanks her. While neither caretaker notices, I spot he has a brown leaf in his mouth, which he is chewing slightly.

"Clem," I say with a quick nod and a point towards the infant. She looks down at the toddler in her arms and her face lights up with humorous surprise, and she wrestles the leaf out of his mouth.

"You shouldn't eat leaves, Goofball," she says with a chuckle. She discards of the leaf and we watch it catch the wind and sail away into the shadows positioned on the outskirts of the camp.

"Why Goofball?" I ask politely.

"I don't know," she replies with a shrug, "I've always called him Goofball, ever since he was a baby. It stuck."

"He'll hate that name as he gets older," I return, "but it's better than Shitbird." She facepalms herself before agreeing with my statement. I push my glasses up my nose and suddenly realise they were left on this time, thankfully. If I lose them or they break, I'm basically worm food. I can barely see my hand in front of my face. I can read without them but that's it. If a walker is as close as a book is, then I'm history. "Now that I think of it," I continue, the stray thought interrupting my morbid ones, "what's AJ short for?"

"Alvin Junior," she says with a sad sigh. There's something in her expression that bothers me, as if the name itself brings back some painful memories. I decide that now is not the time to press for answers. There will be other times to ask about the boy's parentage.

"I see." We don't say anything for a while. AJ stares at me. I stare back. He stares at me. I stick my tongue out. He laughs, and his giggling causes me to crack up. "He's a cute kid," I say to Clementine. "You've done really well raising him, talking or not." She offers a sincere smile of gratitude but says nothing else. "You know what's really annoying about this brand?" I ask, trying to coax some conversation out of her.

"What?"

"It smells of bacon. It's making me hungry."

She gives me a playfully disgruntled look that makes my heart skip a beat and I curse myself for being such a moron, for feeling this way.


	3. Shelved

Clementine

It's been a few weeks since Alex's branding and she's finally been given the all-clear by Lingard to join us on these scouting trips. The objective; to investigate places that could be our next home and clear them of walkers. Alex, cradling her rifle, hasn't said a single word so far. She's walking ahead of me, near the front of the group. There are ten of us, each selected by David to do these dangerous tasks. We're resilient and capable; we're some of the best New Frontier has to offer. There's another group, with similar numbers, scouting another place. We're looking at a large supermarket, not for the food, which is likely to be toxic sludge now, but for the space and the security. I jog lightly to catch up to Alex.

"How's it going?" I ask hurriedly, suddenly struggling to keep up with her. She's walking fast!

"It's going fine," she replies bluntly, still looking ahead. I grip her arm and drag her to a steadier pace. We lag behind a few people.

"Alex," I say reproachfully, "talk to me. What's wrong? Are you nervous?"

"Nervous?" she snorts defensively. "I know what I'm doing."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I've gotta baaad feelin' about this, Clem," she says disconcertingly. I say nothing, and she elaborates. "I mean, a supermarket? Doesn't seem all that safe. Few ways out, narrow aisles, darkness. And it's going to be easy to get cornered and ambushed if there are any walkers about." I pause. She's right, and I tell her so. She drags her hat further onto her head and falls silent again. I pat her shoulder.

"As long as we've got each other, we'll be fine," I say. "We kick ass."

"Hopefully," she returns. "Today's the field test, Shorty."

"I've told you to stop fucking calling me that!" I groan, causing her to laugh heartily. I scowl at her, yet her smile doesn't fade. The nickname stuck over a stupid little incident two weeks ago, where I couldn't reach something and Alex had to swoop in to help.

"But you are short though," she teases me, grinning harder. I punch her in the arm, hard. She recoils in pain.

"Next time, it's the branded arm," I threaten playfully.

"Jeez, what a bitch."

She shoves me away, and I stagger on one foot before regaining my balance. I roll my eyes and shake my head. What a dork, I think. One minute she's my favourite person, and the next she's driving me mad! I look over to her and see that her smile is slowly fading as we near our target. I share her apprehension and I think she knows this. We both speed up our pace and reach the front of the group, almost taking the lead. The entire group continues through the forest in absolute silence, the moist leaves squelching beneath our feet. We break away from the forest as we reach a road. It's empty and silent. A couple of abandoned cars sit nearby. They're in pretty good condition, which surprises me.

"That must be it," Alex pipes up beside me as she points with her left arm, her right cradling the rifle. The rest of the group stop and we all strain to follow her pointing.

And then we see it. The large supermarket has ivy creeping all over its walls, masking the red brickwork which is barely poking through. The windows of the main doors are smeared and dirty, making it difficult to see what's inside. They look like automatic doors and, thankfully, they're not opening. That seems to be the only upside to not having electricity like we used to; nothing can wander in or out as it pleases. A pigeon flies off the roof, taking a loose tile with it. The slate slides down the roof and tumbles to the ground, shattering against the concrete, the sound resonating through the air. I hear Alex clear her throat beside me. As I turn to her, I see her tugging at her shirt collar, chewing on her lip slightly. Poor girl; she doesn't seem to be doing too good.

Our team leader, Jason, a tall, stocky guy with long hair, a thick beard, and an awful attitude, speaks up and tells everyone to move up, and we comply. We inch closer to the supermarket, our eyes scanning every inch of it as we approach, searching for any sign of movement. I brush the stray strands of hair out of my face before pushing up, closely behind Alex and Jason.

We're positioned right in front of the supermarket when Alex hisses, "Wait." I come to a complete stop and so do the others behind me. Jason, however, keeps going.

"Quit messin' around," he snaps at Alex, "we've gotta job to do!"

"No, I'm serious," she insists and zips up to the front doors. She holds her ear near the door, while holding up a hand to silence us. She ushers us over and says, "You guys don't hear that?"

"Hear what?" says Ellie, a sullen-looking girl in her late teens.

"The dead."

I step up to Alex and listen at the doors alongside her. I can hear the faint snarling of walkers inside. I straighten up and turn to the others.

"She's right. They're in there," I confirm, backing her up.

"Then we go in and take them out," Jason says irritably, clearly getting annoyed at Alex's unintentional attempts to undermine his authority in front of his group. Well, intentional, unintentional, I'm not sure. She certainly doesn't take any shit from anyone. Either way, Jason hates it and it's no secret. I look over to him and his face is like thunder.

"No," Alex utters in a low, disconcerting voice, still listening at the door, "there are too many of them in there. I'm guessing about forty, fifty, maybe even sixty of them. It's suicide." I'm amazed by the exact figure she produced.

"How can you tell?" I ask.

"I've spent a lot of time alone and I used to listen and count. It was something I challenged myself to do to pass the time at night. I can distinguish between different walkers and then work out how many there are." Interesting. With a skill like that, I believe that she has spent a lot of time on her own and that seems to be showing now. She's taking charge and creating plans based on her own instincts, her own feelings. I have a feeling that if she was challenged, she would probably do her own thing regardless. I think it's her way or the highway with Alex.

"So, what do we do now?" asks Daniel, a man in his early twenties. Alex steps away from the door and turns towards the group

"We find a side door, like a staff entrance," she replies without hesitation, "and we make a path into the store. We make a lot of noise and lure them out. The side door should make a nice bottleneck and we can concentrate on a few at a time without getting surrounded. Under no circumstances are we to enter the store until we've taken most of them out. We only go in to clear the stragglers and to see how salvageable this place is."

The group murmur in agreement. Jesus, this girl is a faster thinker than I am. Just like that, she has a fully fleshed-out plan that no one has any objections to.

"It's a plan," I say. I hear a muted growl coming from Jason's throat. "Do you have a problem with that, Jason?" I ask threateningly. He glares at me. I fold my arms and stare at him defiantly. He's been upstaged by the two of us in front of seven other people and it has heavily bruised his ego, but he says nothing. "That's what I thought," I add, before turning to Alex. "Let's find that side door."

***

Alex

"Let's find that side door," Clementine says as she gives me a nod, indicating I take the lead. We move around to the right of the building, which opens up into a large, empty, parking lot. I mentally note that we've got plenty of space to spread out in case this falls apart, which, hopefully, it shouldn't. I also note that Jason has slunk to the rear of the group.

That's right, asshole, I think, I'm in charge now. While my brand was healing, I spoke to different people in the community, learning who was solid in the field and who left much to be desired. I was very disappointed to find that Ava, one of David's best, was leading the other group, meaning we'd be stuck with Jason. After speaking to many people, I got him narrowed down to a simple profile: arrogant, reckless, stupid. A good fighter, but poor leader. I'll be damned if I'm letting him lead us to our deaths with his shitty planning. No way is that happening. Hopefully no one noticed what I did was not a kid simply suggesting an idea, but a kid taking over from a grown man. They don't know me well enough, so I doubt it. Jason looked pretty angry when Clementine challenged him, but he'll get over it.

The side doors, which are double doors with handles and peeling blue paint, are locked tight. They have a chain hooked around both handles, which is secured with a padlock. I tug on the padlock, silently hoping that it wasn't closed properly. I twist it in my hand and see it's locked tight.

"Damn," Clementine says behind me. "Now what?"

"Gimme a second," I reply as I sling my rifle over my shoulder and bury my hand in my jeans pocket. I produce a purple paperclip and proudly show it to everyone.

"What the fuck are you playing at?" spits Jason, his face red with rage.

"This, ladies and gentlemen, is my lucky paperclip. I took it from my school not long before this all started. Had it for years."

"You have a lucky paper clip?" he continues, challenging me still.

"I can pick locks, and we need to open this padlock. I'd say the fact that I have it is pretty lucky," I reply sternly, not taking any of his shit. "Now give me some space so I can crack this baby." I unravel the paperclip and get to work, the others keeping watch.

"You never stop amazing me," Clementine whispers in my ear, and I feel my face start to burn.

"I'm a box of tricks, always have been," I say half-heartedly in response, focusing more on the lock.

"No shit," she says with a small chuckle that's so cute my fingers slip from my paperclip.

"Crap," I mutter, wiping my hand on my jeans to get rid of the excess moisture. Why am I such a mess with her? Nine times out of ten I have nerves of steel. She melts the steel as if it's silly putty. A little voice speaks in the back of my head.

It's because she's so freakin' cute. And I tell that voice to shove it where the sun don't shine. I can't let myself fall, I could lose her by tomorrow. This could fall apart, and we could both end up dead. I can't deal with that loss, not after everything I've been through...

"What's wrong?" she asks, bringing me back to reality.

"Slipped. There." The padlock pops open and I unhook it off the chain, which tumbles to the ground like a dead snake, making a dull thud upon impact. Alright, now we're talking. I carefully fold the paperclip back to what it used to look like. At least, as close as I can; it looks a bit crooked now. I tuck it into my pocket while Clementine heaves the chain out of the way of the door. I pull the handles and the door swings open, the hinges squeaking and the door scraping against the concrete. Too loud for my liking. I peer inside.

It looks like a dark, dingy storeroom. The sunlight that filters in does little to illuminate the place. The metal shelves have collapsed toppled over and have been left on their side. Pieces of cardboard litter the floor, alongside the empty boxes supermarkets used to display fruit in. The shimmer of a puddle appears by the door on the other side of the room. A leak perhaps? I can't hear anything inside; it sounds like the walkers are all inside the main store.

"So, what are you waiting for?" Jason asks me with an aggressive shove. "Get going."

"Asshole," I say as I push up my glasses and pull on my hat.

"I heard that."

"You were meant to. Clem, Ellie, Daniel, with me."

The three of them comply and follow me inside. The other five plus Jason hang back at the door. Daniel breaks out his flashlight and illuminates our way through the water and cardboard slush on the ground, none of us daring to say a word. We reach the door, which has a little window for viewing into the main store. I peer in. All I can muster is "Oh, shit..."

"What is it?" Clementine asks as she moves me out of the way, looking through the window on her tiptoes. "Shit." I move her back and look through again.

Through that dingy little window, I can see dozens of walkers milling about in the dimly-lit store, their decaying bodies brushing against each other. Ellie and Daniel both have a look each before I try to open the door. It's locked, but, thankfully, there's a small knob I can twist this side. Before I unlock it, I ask the three of them if they're ready.

"Yeah," says Daniel.

"Uh-huh," affirms Ellie with a nod.

"Go for it Alex," Clementine adds while wearing a determined expression on her pretty face.

Focus, Alex! I scold myself. Before I can turn back to the door, we hear the other door, our only way out of here, scrape shut behind us.

"Oh no. No no no no!" I shout as I sprint towards the other door. I slip on a piece of soggy cardboard and fly to the ground, smacking my head on one of the shelves. I let out a pained shout as a stabbing pain sears through my brain, as if someone stabbed a steel bar into it. My vision turns into a blinding bright white and I can't see a thing.

***

Clementine

I watch as Alex slips and smacks her head on the collapsed shelving, while Daniel and Ellie bolt to the door, the flashlight Daniel was holding clattering to the floor. It doesn't break, its beam pointing towards the grounded girl, lighting her up.

"Son of a bitch!" Ellie yells. "The chain's back on!"

I sprint to Alex and crouch down, who is dazed and unseeing. Gingerly, Alex pulls herself up into a sitting position. I guide her as she shuffles to her right side to lean back on a stack of crates.

"Alex, are you okay?" I press, lifting her face to look at mine.

"Head hurts," she mumbles. And then I see it; the growing patch of crimson seeping through her hat. Shit. I whip the hat off and see the gash on the side of her head, the glistening blood matting her hair. I fold the hat once and press it against her head with both hands, hoping to stem the flow.

"Stay with me, Al, you're going to be okay," I say, trying hard to mask the panic in my voice. The hat quickly feels warm and drenched. This is not looking good... The other two are rattling at the door, banging at it with their fists. I turn to them and whisper urgently, "Guys, you need to stop the shouting! The walkers inside will hear us!"

"So, what do you suggest we do?" Daniel snaps.

"Maybe stop Alex from bleeding?" I hiss, before violently pointing to the bloody rag pressed against her head that faintly resembles a hat. "Find anything that I can use, this thing is soaked!"

I hear the pair of them scramble in the background, groping and searching through the debris scattered about. I watch Alex, who can barely keep her eyes open. I wipe my brow with a hand, replacing the sweat with a moist smear of blood instead, before returning it to the hat. I notice how filthy her glasses are; coated with grubby fingerprints and flecks of blood. The glasses give her a nerdy, knowledgeable look. Combined with the worn, dirty, torn, and bloody clothes, it doesn't really fit. It's unique though, recognisable, iconic. It's a look that fills me with joy whenever I see it. Just not like this.

"Alex, talk to me, where are you from?" I urge. I already know the answer. I just need anything to keep her conscious, anything to keep her alive. Ellie hands me an old T-Shirt, one that was probably part of the uniform for the store employees. I discard the sodden hat beside us and bundle up the shirt. I press it against her head and wait for a response. After what feels like eternity, she finally speaks.

"Nashville," is all she can muster.

"You're a long way from home."

"You and AJ are my home, Shorty," she slurs. I feel my eyes widen as I process what she has just said. This girl has nothing left, yet she considers me and Goofball a huge and significant part of her life. I've only known her for a few weeks!

"You're my home too, you big dork," I return, choking on my words slightly. I pull the shirt away. The bleeding seems to be slowing down a bit. I apply the pressure again and ask "What about your family? Tell me about your parents, do you have any siblings?"

"My mom, my dad, my brother. Dead. They're all dead." At least she still remembers this. She'll be okay, I hope.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, still holding the shirt against her head. She doesn't respond. The flashlight beam highlights how pale she is, her soft features exaggerating how defenceless she is, how vulnerable she is. I think back to the night I found her and the fact that AJ most likely wouldn't have made it through. I still can't get over how selfless (and dangerous, the stupid bitch!) her act was. It feels like it was mere hours ago when we first met, and already here I am, trying to stop her from bleeding. I don't know how this can end. I could lose her.

I can't lose her. She's one of the best friends I've had since this mess started. Her sharp wit and sense of humour is a light to me in these dark times. She has always looked out for me and AJ, always putting us before herself. She has always made sure that we have food before she even gets up for her evening meal and has done so every single night since I brought her to New Frontier. I know that if I lost her, there would be a huge hole in my life. Everything will feel emptier. And why?

Because she's the best companion I've ever had through all of this. We're similar in so many ways but different in the right ones. She's my rock, and I can't lose my rock. Not now. I brush a few strands of her brown hair away from her face as they're stuck to the sweat on her head. Alex's icy blue eyes snap back into focus.

"Jesus but this hurts," she says as she raises her hand to the shirt, placing her hand over mine.

"Alex!" I squeak. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. This stings like a bitch." She shoots a warm smile to reassure me, but it looks pained. "I'll be fine though."

"Good," I say with a slight voice crack, a pathetic attempt to hide the fact that I'm almost crying. Home. Despite the gravity of the situation, what she said keeps circling in my head. Home. This girl, who I only met a few weeks ago, is so sweet. I feel a very slight flutter in my stomach, but I have no idea what it is. It's been a while since I last ate, since last night. Maybe it's that.

"You've got something on your forehead though," she says, her usual smile growing. I show her my hands, which are bright red and dripping. "You can borrow it," she continues, "but I'd like it back soon. I've grown quite attached to my blood."

"You never take a day off, do you?" I say with a small chuckle. I wipe my bloody hands on my jeans, leaving a crimson smear down the front of my legs. Wonderful.

"It's no fun otherwise. Can we leave now?" she asks, still slightly dazed.

"I'm afraid not, we're locked in."

"Oh yeah. And no one's nearby?"

"No," says Daniel, his ear pressed against the door. "Looks like Jason has deliberately driven them away so they don't know about this. I don't hear voices outside."

"So, what do we do?" I ask the group, climbing to my feet. I outstretch a hand to Alex, who takes it. I heave her up. Alex wobbles on her feet briefly before regaining her balance.

"Go through the store," Alex says simply. The other two stare at her. She rolls her eyes and gives out a frustrated sigh. "You guys don't remember the front of the store? The glass? We break that, we can go through."

"The walkers though?" Ellie snaps, squaring up to Alex. Alex doesn't flinch, again standing tall and proud. It's impressive and I get slight chills. This girl, despite looking so delicate, is scary. "You said, and these are your words, that under no circumstances are we to enter the store, or did that slip your mind when you hit your head?"

"That was before Jason thought it would be a good idea to lock us in here, clearly to spite me and Clementine!"

"That's what you get for being a smartass!"

"I don't recall you stepping up and contributing," Alex shoots back, her face turning dark with anger. "All I remember is you sulking in the background like a grouchy teenager."

"Guys!" I say sternly, stepping up and standing between Ellie and Alex. "This isn't helping."

"That stupid bitch is the reason we're stuck in here! We're all going to die because of a stupid kid!" Ellie retorts. Without warning, Alex lunges at Ellie, clearly aiming to hit her, but I block her and hold her back.

"Alex!" I shout, trying to calm her down.

"I'll rip her fucking head off, Clem!"

"Alex, look at me! It's not worth it!"

"If the walkers don't kill her, I will!"

"Alex, please!" I beg. She looks down at me and her facial expression, one of pure rage, immediately softens into one of guilt. "Now is not the time to fight. We need to find a way out of here."

"I know," she whispers quietly. She looks away from me, ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I say reassuringly, patting her shoulder. "And Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Your head," I say.

"We'll sort it later."

"Now."

"What are you, my mother?"

Without a moment of hesitation, I retort, "Okay, now you're grounded."

***

Alex

"That's so unfair. I hate you," I playfully whine.

"Dork," Clementine mutters to herself as she rolls her eyes. She thinks she spoke quietly enough so it was out of earshot, but I heard it. I raise my eyebrows to let her know of this and she shakes her head, slightly embarrassed. I'm in half a mind to say "your favourite dork" but I don't get the chance to.

"I found a first aid kit," Daniel announces from a corner of the storeroom. He opens it up and throws the bandages at Clem, who catches them with expert precision. She instructs me to sit on one of the many crates scattered around and I comply, mostly out of fear that she will beat me up if I refuse. She unravels the bandages and then winds them around my head.

"One of these days," I say as she tends to me, "you won't have to keep hauling and healing my ass every few weeks or so."

"Well, it keeps me on my toes," Clementine replies. I emit a small chuckle. She finishes bandaging me and takes a step back to admire her handiwork.

"We need to think about how we're going to get out of here," I say. "Despite what I said earlier, our best bet is through the store."

"There are a lot of walkers inside," Clementine observes.

"But none of them can climb," I return deviously, smirk included. She frowns slightly as she thinks before darting over to the door and peering through its small window. She turns back to me, still on her tip-toes. She's short and it's cute. Really cute.

"The shelves?"

"If we move fast, at least they can't get to us."

Daniel traverses the room to join Clementine. He too looks through the window. He turns to me and pulls a face of concern.

"It's pretty risky," he says.

"Living is risky, pal," I return.

"Fair point. Is there any other way? There has to be."

"Can you think of one?" He doesn't reply and awkwardly scratches his beard instead. I notice him look towards the door Jason chained back up. "Leave that door. If we bang on it and attract walkers, then we're blocked in from both sides." I watch Clementine peer into the store again. I ask her how it's looking.

"Something's attracted their attention out front. There are hardly any near this door. I think we have an opening."

I stand up, pushing my glasses up my nose. "Then we've gotta move. Now." I draw my knife out of the holster I have attached to my belt and the others follow my example. "We get as close to the front as possible before we start climbing. Clementine, you take point. I'll take up the rear. Let's move."

Ellie and I meet Daniel and Clementine at the door. I twist the knob, and I hear it unlock. It's open. I gingerly twist the handle and tug it open. Clementine eases herself out, surveying her surroundings. She judges it to be clear, and Daniel and Ellie follow her. I zip through the door and trail after them. The first thing that hits me as I enter the store is the stench. Dead, decaying flesh that's been festering for the best part of three years. I muster the energy from every fibre of my being to not gag. It doesn't work. I've gotten used to a lot of things since the walkers emerged; their smell isn't one of them.

We reach the end of the first aisle, to which Clementine checks the left, Ellie the right. They both press on, to which Daniel and I assume that it's clear. We follow. Something dives at Daniel from the right and it throws him to the ground, causing him to yell. He grapples with it for a second before I register what it is.

Walker! SHIT!

I drive my blade straight into the walker's head, killing it. Daniel heaves the corpse off him, his eyes wide with fright. Clementine and Ellie, who made it half way along the aisle, stop and spin around to see what the commotion was all about. What I see behind them makes me feel physically sick... I point to the walkers behind the girls, who are peeling away from the store doors two aisles down and converging onto us!

"Clem, Ellie, get climbing!" I yell as I drag Daniel to his feet. I give him a hefty shove so he can catch up with the others. I sprint behind, watching as Ellie scrambles up the shelving on the left, Daniel following behind her. Clementine draws her pistol and fires off a few rounds, picking off some of the walkers and buying us some time. A lower shelf gives way beneath Daniel's feet as he climbs, and it crashes down to the ground. Clementine stops firing off rounds and attempts to climb the shelf. She tries to pull herself up, but without a foot hold, she struggles to ascend. I can see she's panicking, as she hasn't noticed the intact shelving behind her. I bolt towards Clementine.

"Clementine!" I shout, catching her attention. "These shelves," I yell with a jerky point, "go!" We hastily climb up the shelves opposite to Daniel and Ellie. I heave myself to the top and roll onto them, panting heavily. I catch my breath and lift myself up. I survey our surroundings. The store floor around the two lots of shelves we're standing on is completely surrounded by walkers. A thick swarm of snarling, grabbing dead things snapping at our feet. Perfect.

"What do we do?" asks a scared Ellie from across the aisle. I count the ammo I was issued. Twenty rounds, only as a last resort.

"We're not shooting our way out, that's for sure," I shout back over the cacophony the walkers are making.

"That's where you're wrong," Clementine pipes up beside me. She cocks her pistol and fires off a bead towards the front doors. It hits the glass and it shatters loudly. I feel my mouth drop open.

"You are a genius Clem. An absolute fuckin' genius," I utter in awe.

"It was your idea, remember?"

"Oh, yeah," I return sheepishly.

"Now what do we do?" Daniel hollers from across the aisle. "Jump?"

"That's the plan Danny-Boy!" I yell back. "If we stick to these shelves, we should be fine!"

"Alex, that's not a good idea, that jump looks pretty f-"

Before Clementine can finish her sentence, Daniel takes a couple of steps back and runs across the top of the shelving. He leaps at the end and crashes into the shelving in the next aisle, bouncing off it and slamming onto the store floor. It knocks the wind out of him, and he struggles to get up. The walkers notice the winded man and rush towards him. I watch in horror as the walkers tear into his stomach, ripping out his intestines and feasting on them, his agonised screams ringing off the store walls. Ellie watches from the edge of her shelf, sobbing. I step over to the edge of my shelving, aim my rifle, and fire a round. Daniel's head snaps back and the screaming stops. Clementine gives me the angriest look I have ever seen.

And it's at this exact moment I realise that this plan was a huge mistake.


	4. The River

Alex

We're so screwed. We're trapped with a swarm of walkers snapping below our ankles and one of us is dead. I step away from the edge of the shelf, my back to the front of the store, and I'm greeted with a look of disgust from Clementine, as if this is all my fault. I feel a knot tighten in my throat as I realize that our relationship is potentially irreparable after this. A brief thought flits across my brain: the possibility of hitting the road when we get out of this.

If, I correct myself.

Ellie is on the set of shelves across the aisle, staring at the spot where Daniel was, unmoving, unspeaking, disbelieving. I shoulder my rifle and rub my eyes beneath my glasses; a sign of stress. I rub my hands down my face and push my glasses up my face and begin rubbing my chin.

"Well?" Clementine spits venomously, the tone of her voice making me sick to my stomach. "What's your next big plan?"

"Fuck off," I mutter.

"Or what? Are you going to make me jump across the aisle or-"

"I said fuck off!" I scream as I step up to her, the two-inch difference in height certainly making a statement now. She takes a step back but doesn't flinch, her face like thunder. "I get it! I fucked up, but you can't act as if you haven't done anything stupid since this all started! You can't say that you haven't been responsible for other people's deaths! I know you haven't! Why is Lee dead, Clementine? Why did he get bitten? Because he went looking for you, because you ran off with that stranger!" I watch her jaw tense slightly, but I'm so mad I don't even consider stopping. "Yeah, my memory's still working, in case that little test in the storeroom didn't convince you! I listened to everything you said when I was recovering. And who else is dead because of you? Your carelessness killed Omid, Clem! And Sarita? In the middle of a herd, what possessed you to cut her hand off?"

"You shut your fucking mouth."

"And what about Kenny?"

I receive an angry yell as a response along with a swift punch to the face, one so hard I bite the inside of my cheek. Blood floods my mouth. She steps back and raises her gun at me. I feel the fire leave my brain. It's replaced by a dark emptiness, futility. She told me her lowest moments and I just used them against her. She trusted me, and I pissed on it. Her face shows how hurt she is, and a single tear runs down her face. I notice her finger is poised on the trigger, ready. I stare down the barrel. I've been in this position so many times and normally this sight consumes me with nausea. Now I feel nothing but acceptance and welcoming. I spit out a sticky spray of blood across the aisle, which the walkers seem to revel in, the snarls getting louder and more frantic.

"Do it," I utter lowly, feeling the warm blood ooze down my chin as I talk. I refrain from pulling a face as the metallic taste plays on my tongue. "I don't care anymore," I continue weakly, "I have nothing. You know I've watched my family die right before my eyes. I've had enough of this shit. You'll be doing me a favor."

Clementine trembles with anger. She struggles to hold her weapon steady, even with both hands. Her face is flushed red with burning rage as more tears begin to spill down her cheeks, dripping off her face and trickling down her neck, soaking into her shirt collar. Likewise, the blood seeping from my mouth is doing the same. I can feel its warmth creeping down my throat and gathering at the base of my neck.

I see her eyes dart to the side of me for a split second, before snapping back to me. She fires.

***

Clementine

I... have no words. My past is something that haunts me constantly, all the familiar and friendly (and some not-so-friendly) faces visiting me in my dreams, tormenting my sleep, plaguing my thoughts. It all stays bottled up inside my head and I never breathe a word of it to anyone. Until Alex came along. She stood out compared to everyone else. Her trusting face looked worn by the trying times of this hell the world has become, but also looked fresh, and joyful, equipped with a warm, cheery, good-humored grin. That grin greeted me from across the tent every morning and instantly raised my spirits.

But she pushed me. For years I've fought with myself to control the guilt, to convince myself that it wasn't my fault that all those people died, that I wasn't responsible. For a while, it worked. And in a single rage-induced outburst, all that work was picked apart, its tatters falling from my brain and catching in my throat. My eyes are swimming with tears as I register what I've just done. I collapse to my knees and start to sob as the emotional wounds, freshly healed, split open again. Lee, Omid, Kenny, it's all my fault. She's right.

I look up at her. She's standing there, shocked beyond all belief, unable to process what just happened, that she's alive. I fired to the side of her, the bullet striking another store window. The impact caused the glass to splinter everywhere, the broken pieces littering the store floor and concrete outside. The sunlight filters into the dingy store, lapping at its heels.

I had to fire that gun. I hoped it would make me feel better, but it hasn't.

I hear voices outside. I look up and see a few people, armed, gather near the broken window and cautiously peer inside. They're some of the guys who came with us.

"Hey!" I hear one male voice shout. "They're in here!"

Alex's head snaps behind her to face the shout. The walkers do the same and shuffle away from below us, towards the rest of our group. Gingerly, Alex turns back to face me, offering an outstretched hand to help me up. I don't take it and instead climb to my own two feet, holstering my pistol as I do so. Her arm guiltily shrinks back to her body. More of the walkers saunter away from us, and I hear the occasional pop and rattle of gunfire from out front.

"Guys," Alex says, her voice barely audible, not because of the sound of the walkers, but because she can barely get her words out, "we need to get moving." And with that, she sits over the edge of the shelf, twists, and lowers herself down. Ellie and I follow in silence, dropping to the store floor. I straighten up and draw my knife. Alex presses on, nearing the front of the store entrance, which is clogged with walkers. She omits a sharp, piercing whistle, and the rear wave of walkers sluggishly turn to face us. She grips her knife and lunges towards the first walker with a yell, driving the blade into its head. Another shuffles to me, and I kick its leg out from beneath it and it tumbles to the ground. I pounce and I kill it, my knife sinking into its soft skull. I yank it out and move onto the next walker. And the next. Ellie dispatches walker after walker too, following closely behind Alex.

I peer over to Alex, who is ploughing through the walkers, her front covered in their dark, putrid blood, mingling with her own that is stained into the collar of her shirt. Her eyes dart behind me for a split second, and before I can even turn around, she lunges towards me, and then past me. She tackles a walker to the ground and stabs it. Alex leaps to her feet and places a gentle hand on my shoulder without saying another word.

Watch yourself, the hand says. Seems like she's still watching me, looking out for me, despite all that just happened. Even though I could have easily killed her. The fact that, for a split second, she probably thought I had. I shrug her off.

She pulls away, hurt, and continues killing walkers, except the next one she kills in an interesting way, a way she's never done before. She sweeps a leg out from beneath it, letting it crash to the ground before stabbing it. I never showed her how to do that, not in the way Jane taught me. That girl is full of surprises. Yeah, like using all your dirt against you, I think.

The three of us step through the store doors and meet the others, having picked through a hefty wave of walkers from both sides. I feel the anger drain from my body, leaving a slight bitterness behind. I feel drained. Alex is breathing deeply beside me, still not saying a word. One of the guys, Otto, a man in his early twenties who was studying at a nearby university for a semester, only to be stranded here instead of in his native Germany, steps up.

"Guys, what happened? I thought you weren't going inside the store?" he says.

"Jason locked us in," I reply angrily.

"He did?" Otto replies, his brow furrowing. "He told us to go on a perimeter sweep. We didn't see him do this."

"Then look at the side door. It's chained shut, from the outside!" I retort, still angry.

"Wait a minute," Ellie speaks up, "where is Jason?"

The group have no idea where the fucking coward has gone.

***

Clementine

We return to the camp with eight people instead of the ten we originally departed with, and it's immediately noticed. We all grouped together before the four leaders of the New Frontier and explained what happened and why everything fell to shit. David says they'll send out a search party to find Jason, then he takes one look at Alex and decides it would be best if we didn't go. We are dismissed, and the meeting is over.

I return to my tent, AJ in my arms, to find it's empty. I place AJ on my camp bed and sit beside him. I bury my face in my hands as I reflect on what happened today; I snapped and Alex lashed back, and it was not a reaction I was expecting from someone who is normally so gentle and caring with everyone she's encountered so far. The anger was unlike anything I'd ever seen from her. Pure rage, pure frustration, pure venom. And I can't get it out of my head. I sigh deeply but it comes out as a choked sob instead. Everything she said... is she right? Is it all my fault?

I take more time to recall the shitstorm today turned out to be: Alex nearly split her head open, we were trapped in a walker-packed store, Daniel died, Alex pushed me, I pointed a gun to her, and despite that, Alex still looked out for me. The last point stands out to me more than the others. People dying is, sadly, a huge part of how things are now. And I'm used to people blaming me for it too. Christa... I could tell she blamed me for Omid's death. I could see it in the way she looked at me, the slight hint of disgust in her face. I could hear in the way she said my name, and how it played across her tongue as if she was drinking something vile. Her bitterness faded over time, but I could still see it, like how a wound heals but the scar still remains.

I look around and suddenly realize Alex's stuff is gone. The book she normally keeps on the broken table isn't here. A thick, dog-eared paperback novel with yellowing pages and a worn spine, she read a bit of it every night before bed. Sometimes I'd come in late and find she was reading it to AJ, who took great delight in hearing all the different voices and accents Alex would make as she read. I had no idea what the book was about, but Alex briefly explained it was British Victorian literature, with way too many characters enclosed within. Some nights I would listen along with AJ, to her stupid voices and crappy accents, but it was her native accent, a standard American accent with a slight Tennessee twang that made its appearance in short, sudden bursts, was something I could have happily listened to all night. It came out more whenever she spoke to anyone from the south, which was entertaining. I would pick her up on it and she would deny it. But the angrier she got the more it would come through. These silly little arguments would make me laugh so hard I would cry.

She can't have gone far. Maybe there's still time. I exit the tent and spend the next five minutes frantically asking people whether they've seen Alex, while trying to ignore AJ poking my face, only to be told they haven't seen her since we got back. Finally resigning, I return to the tent and crash onto my camp bed, bouncing AJ on my knee. He's lost interest in my face and wants to crawl around on the camp bed instead, so I let him.

Earlier was so shit. What we both did wasn't fair to each other, but it's not worth losing each other over this. As the realization of Alex's departure sets in, I feel a hole open up in my chest. I feel hurt again, betrayed, abandoned. I feel my heart sink as the thought that she's gone becomes very real. That dumb smile, pale face with the slightly sunburned cheeks, the glasses with the grimy lenses, the crappy jokes, light-hearted banter, the hair flicks, the spectacle-repositioning... gone. My partner-in-crime, gone.

My thoughts are interrupted as I hear the sound of rustling paper and chewing beside me. My head snaps up to look. AJ is sat there, happily chewing on a piece of paper. Where did that come from?

"AJ, let go," I say as I wrestle it out of his mouth, the little shit clamping his teeth down harder on it. I finally pry it from him and he giggles slightly. I unfold the slightly saliva-covered piece of paper and read Alex's small, scrappy handwriting, ignoring the teeth marks on the page.

Clementine,

Where do I even begin with this? I'm an ass.  
You opened up to me and I used it against you.  
I let you down and I hurt you.  
No matter how many times I say this, it won't express how bad I feel, but...  
I'm so, so, fucking sorry.  
You don't have to believe it.  
You don't even have to forgive me.  
But in the unlikely event that you do, I'll be at the nearby stream if you want to come and find me.  
We need to talk.  
Or you can shout at me, I totally deserve it.

Alex.

I read the note again. And then a third time. Without a moment's hesitation, I scoop AJ up and get moving.

***

Alex

Today... what a mess. A man is dead because of me of my stupid idea. To top it all off, I've hurt someone I care about dearly. I'm sitting at the bank of a small stream, watching the water trickle by. The trees nearby are bare, their leaves littering the ground I'm sat on. Thankfully, it's a dry day so I'm not perched upon soaked ground. It is, however, pretty cold, and I feel the winter chill tickling against the back of my neck. My head is starting to hurt, and its throbbing is sending hot waves of pain across the right side of my skull. I massage my right temple with my hand in the hope that it will provide some relief. It doesn't.

I let out a weighty sigh, made visible by the cold. I watch the wispy vapor seep into the air before vanishing. I pick up the novel that I've been trying to read for the last half hour, the headache making it impossible to concentrate. I flick through its pages, noting how thick this book is. I land on the final page and look at its number: 897. As if I'm going to finish this book before die.

"Hey", says a voice behind me. Clementine. An excited infantile squeal follows. AJ. I can't summon to courage to speak up, let alone look at her. I hear her sit beside me, to my right. I still don't look, instead I'm fiddling with the ring around my neck. We sit in silence, with the exception of AJ making the odd sound here and there as he fidgets in Clementine's lap. At least, I think he is, my peripheral vision can only see so much. Clementine makes no effort to silence him, letting him do his own thing instead.

"How's your head?" she finally asks. I clear my throat before answering.

"It hurts," I mumble, still looking straight ahead.

"No surprise there, it looked like quite a nasty fall." I don't answer. I don't know what to say. 'Sorry' won't cut it. "What happened with Daniel..." she continues, "... that wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have made out as if it was." She pauses for a moment. "We always think that we're doing what's best at the time, but sometimes it doesn't go to plan. I know that better than anyone. I'm sorry." As if beyond my control, my head lifts up to look at her. Her sweet face with a soft smile and sad eyes. AJ looks at me with a cute, smiling expression and outstretches his tiny arms towards me.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for Clem," I say. And I really mean it. I have no hard feelings towards her.

"But-"

"Ah-ah!" I interrupt along with an outstretched index finger. I raise my eyebrows and feel a small smile play on my lips. Clementine cocks her head at an angle as if to say Really? before rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "Hear me out. You trusted me with a lot of personal stuff over the last few weeks, and in a matter of twenty seconds, I used it all against you. It was uncalled for, it was vicious, and I am so, so sorry. It takes a lot to make me lose my cool, but when I do, I completely lose my shit. It's... dangerous... it-"

"What happened in there," she interjected, "it was rough. We didn't have many options. Your call was the best one, and I'm sorry for acting as if it wasn't. It got heated, emotions ran high. What I'm trying to say is... I forgive you," she says sweetly, the sadness in her eyes fading away. "Besides, I shouldn't have pointed that gun at you. I was mad, and I didn't know what I was thinking."

"I deserved it."

"You deserved the punch, nothing else."

"It was a good punch."

"Thanks."

We sit in silence again, listening to the breeze, the birds singing. My cheek also kills, and I probe the ragged flesh with my tongue, inspecting it. A slight metallic hint still lingers. AJ keeps pointing to me and looking at Clementine.

"I think he wants to be with you," Clementine offers softly.

"Are... are you sure?" I ask. I'm still not that comfortable with babies. "What if I accidentally let go of him? He might roll into the stream and get whisked away, never to be seen again..." I express my concern, deliberately over-the-top and exaggerated to get a laugh or two out of Clementine.

"It'll be fine," she affirms, lifting AJ over to me as she laughs. My heart... "He loves being with you." I take the toddler and place him in my lap, which he seems to take great delight in.

"Hey there, buddy," I say softly as AJ grabs the tip of my nose. "O-okay then... give me back my nose, you little shitbird. It's mine, not yours. You have your own nose! See?" I gently pinch the tip of his nose with a thumb and forefinger, which AJ seems to think is the funniest thing in the world. Clementine laughs her amazing laugh, and I feel myself turning into a puddle of goo. Dammit, I can feel my face burning up too. She's literally perfect and I don't know what to do with myself. I nervously bounce AJ on my knee and give him a little tickle. He squeals with delight and I burst into laughter. He's such a cute little kid, it's just a shame that he's not talking. He seems like he'd be a cute, chatty little dude. I look over at her, with a smile that ask Am I doing this right? to which she nods.

"See, you're a natural."

"Beginner's luck, Clem, beginner's luck. I could still drop him."

"For your own safety, I strongly recommend that you don't." We laugh again, and I feel my face start to hurt. Not just from the excessive smiling, but because the inside of my cheek has been ripped to shreds and is causing me a lot of discomfort.

She shuffles a little closer to me, to the point where our shoulders are touching. I feel my mouth dry out with fear, with excitement. My heart is thumping so loud in my chest, I fear she will be able to hear it. I somewhat hope she will. It could be my confession. Why's your heart beating so loud, Alex? It's because I like you, Clem. Should I say something? I may not get another chance, and there's no time like the present. Yeah, nice one Alex, spend the rest of your short, miserable life humiliated, that's a smart move too. Moron. The words are there, playing on the tip of my tongue, screaming to be spoken.

"Clementine..." I utter weakly, the use of her full name getting her complete attention.

"Yeah?"

"I..."

"What?"

"I..."

Come on!

"You...?"

"I... think we should head back." I hear myself finally say, defeated. Fffffffffuck.

***

Clementine

A month later...

I'm crouched beside an unconscious Lingard and a very, very sick AJ, holding a syringe in my hand. It's night and it's cold, with an even more bitter chill threatening to close in as the night progresses.

"Shit," I whisper to myself, watching the rest of the New Frontier gathering by the main campfire. Of course the medicine would have to be a shot. This is going to hurt AJ and he'll probably cry as soon as I inject him. I'll get caught instantly. Alex is back at our tent, most likely reading her book. I haven't told her what I'm doing because I know she would disagree with it. Instead, I told her I was going for a little walk with AJ.

When AJ first got ill, I took him straight to Lingard, and before long, the fuckers just gave up on him, saying there was nothing they could do. Alex did little to console me, saying that we would figure it out, but to defy New Frontier would be stupid. I suggested stealing from their supplies, insisting that they wouldn't notice, to which she asked if I was, quote, "fuckin' stupid". Not stupid, just doing what any mom would.

She pleaded with me not to do it, so I said I wouldn't. I was going to do it either way, but I wasn't going to tell her. And here I am.

"Hang in there, Goofball," I whisper to AJ, whose little face looks pained and miserable. He's clearly suffering. "This is gonna get you better." I insert the syringe into the little vial of medicine, the name of which Alex doesn't even know I came into possession of. The perks of being near what used to be a med school, I guess. I measure out the correct dosage and remove the syringe, listening all the while. I give it a little squeeze to make sure everything's working properly, yet I hear a shuffling from the camp bed beside me. I feel my jaw drop slightly as Lingard comes to. Shit.

"Clem," he says as he sits up slightly. He clearly doesn't have it together. I reckon he barely knows where he is.

"Doctor Lingard? What's the matter with you?"

"I'm... I'm fine..." he says, but he certainly doesn't look it. Heavy, red-tinted bags have formed around his eyes and his speech is slightly slurred. He sits up a little more and spots the syringe in my hand. Shit. "Clem, please don't," he pleads. "The vancomycin, that's the last of it. It'll be wasted on AJ. I told you, it could save someone's life if used right. It's too valuable to throw away."

"It's the only thing that can save him," I try to reason.

"Except it can't," he says with a sad shake of his head. I scowl at him. "I'm sorry, Clem. I tried everything. I... I really did." His speech is sounded more slurred now.

"This will help him," I insist. "It better."

"Nothing can help your boy now." Lingard stops and sighs. "Oh Clem, put the drugs back, before anyone finds out you took 'em." I look across at the anguished face of AJ, screwed up into a permanently solemn expression. He needs this, more than anything. "You know what they do to thieves here. There's still time."

"I have to try." I'm doing this. I grab hold of AJ's arm, and he recoils, trying to wriggle out of my grip. He lets out a small sound of fear, of uncertainty.

A male voice rings out from nearby; "What the hell was that?"

"Come on Goofball," I say reassuringly, "I need you to be brave for me now, okay?" He stops wriggling, but still looks at me as if to say Please don't do this to me. I shush him before saying, "See, it's not so bad." I stick the needle into AJ's arm, and he instantly jolts with the pain and starts crying.

"AJ!" I whisper frantically. "Shh!" Shit, shit, shit!

"What the hell is this?" David's voice demands from behind me. I grab AJ, who is still crying, and try to make a run for it, only to be blocked off by Ava.

"I told her it was a bad idea," Lingard slurs at David. More people more away from the campfire and watch me, their faces furrowing with anger, disbelief., betrayal.

David looks over at the pitiful Lingard. "You fucking high again?" He walks over to the doctor and grabs him up by the arm, pulling him roughly to his feet. "Pull yourself together before the others see you. Deal with the damn kid." David turns to me, cradling a bawling AJ. I notice that small flecks of snow are starting to fall, and I can feel the air getting colder. It could be the weather, it could be fear, I'm not sure. "What the fuck were you thinking?" he yells angrily. "You were told those drugs couldn't help him. How could you be so stupid? So selfish?"

"You stopped trying to help!" I shoot at him. "I couldn't just sit here and watch AJ die!"

"We stopped because he was a lost cause! That waste? That'll cost someone's life down the road. Someone in this camp! Someone who contributes to our survival!" David continues, waving an angry finger at me.

"C'mon David, she was just trying to help her kid," Ava reasons.

"We helped enough!" David yells back. "We should have left him in the woods a week ago!"

"But look! It's helping!" I plead pathetically. Anything to make the situation better.

"It doesn't work that way, Clem," Lingard says patronizingly. "You bought him a peaceful moment, nothing more."

"Get your fucking hands off of me!" yells a voice from nearby. I peer behind David, and everyone looks to the source of the shout. A guy has grabbed Alex by the collar of her jacket and is aggressively dragging her towards us. She swings an uncoordinated fist towards him, but she can't quite connect the blow, so she thrashes around instead. They reach where we are, and with a violent shove, he launches Alex into the dirt beside my feet. She mutters something along the lines of "fucking asshole", but I'm not sure.

"Alex!" David yells at my friend, who is still on her hands and knees on the ground. "Tell me you didn't know about this! Tell me that this had nothing to do with you!" She slowly stands and turns towards the man, her face like thunder: fearless, defiant, terrifying.

"We planned this, together," she says flatly, a lie, covering for me. "It was all my idea. You all gave up on AJ, a small, defenceless boy! And for that, fuck all of you!"

"We opened our arms to both of you; made you one of us!" David continues, getting angrier and angrier. "This is how you repay us? By stealing?! By putting yourself before the group?" He scowls at both of us and shakes his head disapprovingly. "You're done here. Both of you. You two broke our rules!"

I've had enough and decide I should take Alex's example. "You know what? Alex is right; fuck you," I spit. "And fuck the New Frontier!"

"You already did!" David continues, getting angrier. "That's why you have to go."

I look across at Alex, her challenging expression evaporating into one that says Why didn't you listen to me? It hurts.

"Maybe we should give them another chance?" Lingard offers.

"Don't fight me on this, Paul. You know what Joan would say if she were here. I'm sorry girls, but you brought this on yourself."

Screw this. "Alex, we're leaving," I say lowly. "Come on AJ, we don't need this place anyway." I take hold of Alex's arm and turn away from them, preparing to leave.

"Uh-uh," David says behind us, "he stays." At the same moment, Ava and another guy block us from leaving.

"Get out of my fucking way," I threaten. "Right now."

"Clem," Lingard says, "he's in no condition to travel."

"Let him go, Clem," Ava backs him up. "He'll only drag you down out there."

Without another the word, they close in on us, pushing us closer to David.

"Back the fuck up!" Alex yells, pushing against the guy. But it's like flicking paperclips against a tank; ineffective. I feel them closing in, tighter, tighter, until I feel a vice-like grip on my shoulder. Ava lunges for AJ and I'm unable to leap for him. She wrestles him out of my grip, which is followed by Alex's scream of "Fucking bitch!" A blow follows, but I don't see who lashed out or who got hit until after I'm thrown to one side.

"No! You monsters!" I scream angrily. I stand my ground, preparing to lash out of them, but one look at the pitiful Alex, makes me think better of it. She's back in the dirt again, with a string of bloody drool seeping out of her mouth. As she staggers to her feet, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, leaving a crimson smear against the pale skin of the back of her right hand and her cheek. "What about this?" I plead, feeling my eyes fill up with hot tears. I lift my shirt sleeve to show the brand on my arm. "What was it all for? Don't forget, we're part of this group!" I choke, feeling the urge to cry seep into my voice, making it sound weak and pathetic.

"Not anymore," David says flatly. So, this is it. I screwed up and I should have listened to Alex. I'm the reason we're in this mess. I'm the reason we're being cast out of our home. But they have no right to take AJ away from me! From us! How dare they!

"Let them say goodbye," Ava suggests to David. "We owe them that much at least." My vision is swimming now, a messy blur of different colours and shapes.

"Fine. You heard her," David says.

"Go on, Clem," Alex says beside me with a flat voice. I feel her hand on my back as she nudges me forward.

David says, "Say what you need to say, and then go. Please don't make me regret this."

I step forward to AJ, who is in Lingard's arms now. He lifts his tiny hand out to me and I take it.

"I love you, Goofball," I utter, trying hard to stop my voice from cracking. Lingard lowers AJ to my level and I place a small kiss on his head. I feel more tears coming on as I sob, "I love you."

"Come on, Clem," David's voice rings behind me. He places a hand on my shoulder and he pulls me away from AJ. He does the same with his free hand for Alex. I wipe the tears from my eyes as we walk. A tiny infant voice rings out behind me and something inside of me dies.

"Cleeeem!"

***

Alex

Here we are, driving. Just the two of us. The car is deathly silent without AJ. I haven't spoken a word since we got booted out of New Frontier. Clementine has stopped crying now but sits in the passenger seat beside me in a numbed silence. We're both hurting because of AJ and I should be fuming because Clementine didn't listen to me, but I don't feel the anger stirring up inside of me. I feel the sharp pangs of grief settling in my chest. Although relatively unsafe, I drive with my glasses propped up on my head, because my hot tears keep fogging up the lenses. I guess it doesn't matter. Everything is unsafe now. I focus on the road the best I can, resting my hand on the stick shift as I do; a habit of my brother's. Mom hated it so much. Every time he did it when she was in the car, she basically threw a shitfit. Both hands had to be on the wheel.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Clementine speaks up, interrupting my thoughts and startling me.

"What d'ya mean?"

"I fucked up and you haven't said a word since. You should have at least shouted at me or something."

"What would that have achieved, Clementine?" I ask her. She says nothing, so I continue. "Yes, you should have listened to me, but you had what's best for AJ in mind and I can't fault you for that. Right now, we're both hurting, and me shouting at you isn't going to change anything or make it better. All we've got is each other and we need to stay strong now." I feel a cold hand rest on mine that's resting on the stick shift.

"Thanks for being there for me, Alex."

"I'm always here for you. Don't you forget it."

We drive for a little longer, still in silence, before deciding to set up camp for the night. We get a fire going and we sit beside it. It's almost like the night we met. Almost. And, just like that night, it's fucking freezing. Clementine shivers and suffers in silence beside me. She's got her jacket that she normally leaves tied around her waist on and she's still struggling.

"Come here, Clem," I offer, gesturing with my hand for her to scoot over to me. "You're freezing."

She looks at me, at first to say Are you crazy? but I can tell that she feels the biting cold and thinks again. And I don't believe my luck. She actually moves over to me. And I haven't got a clue on how to position myself. So I leave my arm suspended in the air like a dork as she snuggles into me, her arms wrapping around my middle, her head resting on my shoulder. I feel my heart start to thud in my chest, threatening to burst out. And... she's going to hear it! No!

"See?" she says cockily, "This isn't so bad, is it? I don't get why you were so reluctant last time. Maybe you wouldn't have nearly died."

I shake my head and say nothing, feeling a goofy grin plaster my face. "We'll sort this out, Clem. We'll get AJ back, but first, we'll need to get to this community and find our feet. It'll be okay, I promise."

Clem doesn't respond, and I hear her gentle snoring. I mentally thank Ava for the supplies and the directions to Prescott. Hopefully everything will work itself out. I listen to the nearby river churning as I take watch. It's only a few feet away and the sound is almost deafening at first, but then it gradually becomes white noise. It's relaxing and therapeutic, and it's not something I experience often. Maybe tonight won't be so bad.

***

Clementine

Alex wakes me up.

"Whuh?" I murmur sleepily, only for Alex to put a finger to my lips, silencing me.

"Don't. Make. A sound."

The urgency in her voice makes my eyes snap open. I sit up slightly and watch about five walkers shamble along the road we were camped next to. I notice the campfire is out, the nearby ground flooded with water, an empty water bottle discarded beside it. Given how wet the ground is this time of year, there was no way Alex could kick dirt onto it instead. The walkers move by, painfully, slowly, their snarls ringing out into the night air. We both watch, not even daring to breathe, trying to stay as low as possible. In a single, fluid, silent motion, Alex premptively draws her knife and I follow her lead.

Alex shuffles on her feet, readjusting her position.

Snap.

I watch as her eyes widen as she realizes she accidentally stood on a stick. She mouths "fuck" as we watch the walkers turn their heads to face us. She springs to her feet, ready to take them on.

"Let's go!" she yells and strides up to the group of walkers. I follow and pounce on the first, Alex simultaneously taking out another. The following three are bunched up really close together. If either one of us attacks, the other two will easily get us. We need to split them up. I look at Alex and before I can even open my mouth, as if she can read my mind, she says, "Split them up."

The clump of walkers converge onto Alex, who is slowly backing up. I run up behind the group and start shouting and hurling insults, anything to get their attention. None of them react to me, closing in on Alex. Even from behind and using the element of surprise, if I attack one, I'll still be too close to the others. I feel helpless. There is nothing I can do that isn't risky. I try getting closer, but they still ignore my distractions, focusing on Alex instead. She continues to back up, holding her knife steady.

"Clem!" she shouts over them. "If you're gonna do something, do it now!"

"They're not reacting to me!" I yell back, watching her helplessly. And then I see it. The river... and its current looks unbelievably strong. Believe me, I know, I got swept up in one like this a couple of years ago. I barely survived. "Alex! Watch your-"

Alex stops at the edge of the river, cornered. I can't help but watch as the three walkers lunge at Alex, the mass of human and walker tumbling into the river and getting swept away by the current faster than I can even blink. I run to the edge as they fall, hoping I can do something to prevent this. It's hopeless.

They got her. They fucking got her. She's gone. Alex is gone. AJ is gone. I'm alone. I lose everyone I love and watch everyone I care about die. My life is trapped in this endless cycle and I don't know what to do anymore. I fall to my knees and start sobbing, my tears racing down my face and splattering onto the ground beneath me, my cries echoing into the night sky. The fresh wound of grief is torn open even more and I continue crying uncontrollably.

In a single night, I have lost everything I loved and cherished dearly. I crawl back to the extinguished fire and sit there, numbed, for hours. Finally, I search through my bag and produce a small photograph of myself, Alex, and AJ on the night Alex was branded, taken with the instant camera that was once her brother's. We're smiling, and you can see Alex's bandages as she's rolled her sleeve up to her shoulder. Her smile isn't at all pained, as you would expect from the ordeal she endured, but genuinely happy. AJ is sat on my lap, not sure what's going on, looking up at me for reassurance, pointing at Alex.

I find myself break into a grin while tears simultaneously flow down my face again. I realize that Alex is gone, and that I'll never see that dumb smile again, nor the pale face with the slightly sunburned cheeks, the glasses with the grimy lenses, or hear the crappy jokes, or endure the light-hearted banter, or watch the hair flicks, the spectacle-repositioning... it's all gone. My partner-in-crime, gone. This time, for good.

Something tells me to turn the photo over, and I can't explain it. I find writing on it, which I never noticed was there before. I read the familiar, scrappy handwriting on the back. It says:

To Clementine, my savior, my lifeline.  
You saved my ass and I can't thank you enough.  
You're the best and you make being alive great.  
-Alex

I break down crying, helpless, alone, defeated.


	5. Reunion

Clementine

I can't stop crying. Everything has been ripped from me in the same night... I just don't have the energy to keep fighting. AJ was cruelly torn from me, and so was the last person who was helping me stand on my feet, the one who was going to guide and motivate me throughout all of this. Every single person I get attached to, every person I care about, every person I love and cherish dearly, I lose. Always. My parents. Lee. Kenny. Jane. AJ. Alex. The list just keeps growing and growing. What's the point in getting close to anyone if they're just going to die?

No... I have to press on, I have to find AJ again. I can't let Alex's sacrifice be in vain. If Alex were here, she would tell me, with a comforting grin, Go find your Goofball, Shorty.

"I will, Alex," I whisper into the night air, "I will."

I wipe the tears from my face and pull myself to my feet. I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulders, but then I see something else that makes me stop. Alex's backpack. I open it up and see what's inside: her brother's camera, a bottle of water, a several-years-out-of-date energy bar, and her book. I fish the last item out with both hands, and note her place in the book, marked with a thin twig. I flick through the pages and see that she was only a couple hundred pages from finishing. I skim through the page she saved, and I recognise it from the night before, where she was reading it to AJ in her silly voices. I have never seen him laugh so hard before. Or Alex, for that matter. She was cracking up so bad over AJ's squealing that she struggled to continue reading. We were all laughing together. It felt like we were a family.

And now it's just me. I zip up Alex's backpack and swing it onto my shoulder. It's time to move.

***

A few years later...

Louis watched the girl as she read. She was sat on one of the picnic benches set up in the front courtyard of the school, carefully scanning through each page before switching to the next. From the steps leading up to the centrally-placed admin building, Louis had a wide view of the courtyard. On the same bench as the girl, Tenn was seated, drawing as usual. Another young boy, Willy, was on lookout duty from atop a makeshift wooden tower near the large, metal gates that lead into the school. A tower of old furniture blocked those gates from the inside, leaving the only way in or out through the smaller side gate beside it. It was getting dark, and a slight autumnal chill was beginning to creep in.

A voice piped up from behind Louis that made him jump out of his skin.

"Still watching her?" Violet asked as she sat beside him on the step. It took a few seconds before Louis could muster his answer.

"I miss her."

Violet's face melted into an expression of pity as Louis' statement gut-punched her. Everything that went down between the pair six months ago was painful and messy, and it still affected him now. Violet found that she couldn't find any words of comfort for him, so she stayed silent.

"Although," he continued with a small, sad smirk, "she's just over there. How can you miss someone who is literally over there?" He emitted a small chuckle which promptly drifted off. Humor: his sole coping mechanism. It wasn't working that well this time, not when it came to her.

"Do you still... love her?" Violet enquired, cocking her head at her friend. She watched as Louis' face creased up with confliction, as he searched his feelings, something he had been trying to ignore as much as possible for the last six months. Yet here they were, threatening to bubble to the surface. Although he would never admit it, in private, he still cried over her. There were good days, where he could carry on like his usual chirpy self, and there were bad days, the ones where he spent all day shut up in the music room with the piano, channelling his crushed spirits into the ivories. It was a slow, painful recovery. As he continued to think, Violet spotted that, for a split second, his eyes glazed over. "You do, don't you?"

He nodded his head sadly.

"Sometimes, when I first wake up, I have a moment of peace before I remember that we're not together." He chewed at a thumbnail as his mind drifted off into a string of stray thoughts: What's wrong with me? What did I do wrong? Why do I suck so much?

"I get that with Minnie too." Violet sighed softly before looking straight ahead, at the trees beyond the gates. The pair sat in silence, alone with their thoughts, but alone together. The breeze picked up, blowing Violet's short blonde hair across her face. "Shit," she muttered as she wrestled the hair out of her face. Louis chuckled beside her, and promptly received a sock in the arm.

"So," he asked faux-cheerily as he rubbed the spot where Violet had punched him, "what's happening tomorrow?"

"Hunting trip, I think," she replied. "Brody, Aasim, Mitch."

"And Alex?"

"Her too."

"Fuck." He hated it when she went outside the walls. The only time he could relax whenever she was hunting, fishing, or scavenging, was if he went with her. And this time, he wasn't. Louis hoped they all would, especially her, make it back safely, but whenever he was left behind, he could never relax. He always felt useless, his anxiety increasing with each minute that passed. Anything could be happening to the group who headed outside and there was not a thing he could do about it. He shook his head angrily. "I've asked Marlon to not send her out without me," he muttered through gritted teeth, livid.

"We need you to stay here, Louis," Violet explained. "Don't ask him to send you out too, or we'll be short of people here. We need you and your... chair leg," she said reluctantly, not giving him the satisfaction of referring to it by its stupid nickname.

"Chairles, Vi, Chairles," he insisted with a goofy grin. "Respect Chairles and he'll respect you."

"I'll respect you with Chairles if you're not careful," she threatened playfully.

"What... what does that even mean?"

"Shut up, it made sense in my head."

***

Clementine

The Following Day.

The road. We've been on it for a while. It's beginning to feel like too long, constantly moving, constantly watching our backs. We're running short on food too, and our recent searches have been turning out dry.

Despite everything that is falling apart right now, I enjoy the pleasant breeze blowing on my face from the open window of the car but hearing a repetitive mechanical spinning sound from the back seat is starting to annoy me. Spin. Clack. Spin. Clack. Spin. Clack. I decide to readjust the rear-view mirror to see what's going on, something I should I have done before driving off. It was something I always forgot to do, and it was always something Alex had a go at me for.

Oh, Alex. I miss her so, so much. I can't even fall sleep without thinking back to that night. The snarling, the water, the tears.

I pull the mirror down, and I see AJ sat in the back seat, playing with his revolver.

"Whatcha doin' there, Goofball?" I call out to him. After a few more spins, he finally answers me.

"Pretending we got bullets."

"Well don't," I reply sternly. "It's getting on my nerves." The spinning finally stops. After a brief moment, he speaks up again.

"I don't like Goofball."

"Would you prefer Shitbird?" I ask, feeling a grin grow on my face.

"No!" AJ says with a laugh. "That's mean!"

"Alex used to call you a Shitbird," I continue, thinking back to the time near the river, when AJ latched onto her nose, "so it must be true!"

"I... I don't remember Alex," AJ drifts off. "I know you talk about her a lot, and I've seen the photos, but I don't remember her." I feel my grin sink into nothing as my heart drops into my stomach.

"Alex..." I begin, my voice trembling slightly as it catches in my throat, "was amazing. She was sweet, reliable. She liked reading, and she could never keep her glasses clean, no matter how hard she tried. She was a little bit taller than me, and she never let me forget it. She used to call me Shorty, all the time, and it drove me mad. I'd hate to see how many bruises she got because I kept punching her."

"Because she made you angry?"

"It was... playful. At least for the most part. I got really angry at her once and I punched her in the face."

"Why?"

"Things got... heated. Neither of us were thinking straight. She said things she didn't mean, and I got so mad I hit her."

And pointed a gun at her, I think to myself, but I think it's best if I keep that quiet.

"What did she say?" AJ asks curiously.

"I cared about her a lot," I continue, ignoring his question, "and she cared about us a lot too. She always knew how to make me laugh, no matter how upset or angry I was. She was my best friend. We had our ups and downs, but we always worked them out, because life is too short to stay angry at the people you care about." I peer into the mirror and see AJ fixated on every word I'm saying. "You would have really liked her."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you absolutely adored her when you were little. She used to make you laugh so hard you would start squealing!"

AJ chuckles. I feel a small, sad smile creep on my face. I try to pretend that she's sat in the passenger seat beside me, watching and approving everything I do. It makes me a feel a little better. A quick glance over to the seat and instead of Alex, I see the bag she left behind, which, despite all odds, I have kept intact and with me the entire time, with all of her stuff in it. It's all I have left of her. I finished her book before she did. As soon as I got AJ back, I began reading it to him, trying to mimic the silly voices and various accents Alex used to pull off. But it was never the same, despite the laughter from AJ.

God, I miss her.

***

Alex

I hook the knife pouch to my belt as I prepare to go on this hunting trip with the others, and I'm confident that things will go smoothly. They always do on my watch. I grab the knife I had left on the picnic bench and examine it. Not a kitchen knife, a proper military-grade one that I found with my brother years back. And it's still nice and sharp, ready to go. I grab the handgun from the bench too and slot it between my jeans and my belt, which I have to loosen a little to ensure it fits.

The Ericson crew don't like guns. I found the weapon when I was on my own, after Clementine, and, after a lot of convincing, they let me keep it when they took me in. Where they've been left on their own for so long, they never used guns at all. They haven't experienced this life the way I have, but for now, I'm grateful for the shelter, grateful for a place I can call home and have done so for the last few years. I take the hair tie off from my wrist and fasten my beyond-shoulder-length hair into a messy bun that sits on the back of my neck. Scissors just don't seem to exist anymore, as if they've suddenly vanished out of this realm.

Clementine used to be adamant about keeping my hair short. If she saw me now, she'd probably have a fit. I hope she's still alive. Even with additional concentration on my memory recall, I find I'm slowly forgetting the sound of her sweet, soothing voice. It has been a long time, and sometimes it feels as if it were all a dream. I have no physical reminders of her or AJ. Maybe I just made it all up to cope with the death of my brother? I don't know.

I retrieve my bandanna from my back pocket and fasten it around my neck, loose enough so I can pull it over my face if necessary. Even after all this time, I still cannot stomach the smell of the walkers. I found that the bandanna provides some relief from the rotting smell. There was one incident where, on a hunt, we encountered a walker. I killed it and the smell hit me like a hot wave. It was so putrid, I threw up. Unfortunately, Louis took the brunt of the vomit. Yet despite that, he still liked me. If someone puked on me, they would receive a swift kick to the head.

I mentally shake those thoughts out of my brain. Things... really didn't end well and I'd much rather leave things in the past.

I have a quick look through my backpack, which had a few emergency medical supplies in case someone gets hurt. I zip it up and swing it over my shoulder, but the bag hits something behind me. It emits a surprised squeak and I spin around.

"Louis! What are you-"

"At least listen to what I'm going to say before you hit me," he says with a smirk.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were behind me," I apologise awkwardly.

"It's fine," he says quietly, his smile evaporating quickly. It grows quiet between us, our voices replaced by the birds chirping nearby.

"So..." I start tentatively, "what can I do for you?" Louis glances at the ground, then up at me, then back to the ground. He nervously scratches his neck, the lines on his forehead creasing in thought. I notice his eyes darting around, a quality I haven't seen in him since we first met; nervousness. He flashes an awkward grin with an anxious chuckle. I fold my arms skeptically. "Louis," I say irritably, "spit it out."

"I just... wanted to tell you to be careful out there."

My breath catches in my throat. That was not what I was expecting to hear. Recently, we had only been able to maintain awkward small talk at best. I clasp at the ring around my neck and run my fingers along it, thinking of what to say next. I look up at him with an appreciative smile on my face.

"Thank you, Lou. I will be."

"You know I can't stand it when you're out there and I'm he-"

"I know," I interrupt, raising my hands to stop him. It doesn't take much for him to wind himself up when it comes to this. "I hate it when you're out there too. I hate it when anyone is out there without me, but I've gotta go. I mean, I take it you actually want to eat tonight?"

He laughs warmly, with less of the nervous energy surrounding it. "Just as long as you don't hunt cantaloupe, I'm all in for it."

"Ooh, I don't know, that might be a little tricky," I say as I grin from ear-to-ear, struggling to keep the laughter out of my voice. "I've seen lots of cantaloupe nests nearby, so we might have to make do with them."

"You are so cruel." He gives off a little shudder and I laugh heartily, and he joins. We both drift off and it gets a little awkward again. The way he raises his eyebrows screams uncertainty and insecurity, and I know that, probably for the first time in his life, he has no idea what he's supposed to say. I feel awful as soon as I realize that I'm faring much better than he is. I nudge my glasses slightly off my face as I pinch the bridge of my nose. I don't know how to fix this. I can't get back with him, I just can't. Not that he's a bad guy, far from it. It's just really, really complicated. I let go of the bridge, which makes my glasses land lower down my nose. I grab them by the frame of the lens with a thumb and forefinger and lift them up my face so they sit comfortably.

Goddammit, what am I supposed to do?

"Louis," I start up slowly, "I have a proposal to suggest."

"I do."

"Okay, poor word choice. I have an idea, an idea to suggest."

"I know, I was just messin' around." His shoulders sag and his thick eyebrows sadly knit together. He is hurting, bad.

"What if we were to go back to being friends again?" I begin. He lifts his head slightly, listening. "I don't know about you, but I hate how awkward everything is. I'd really like for us to try and get past that, maybe go back to when I first got here. I miss hanging out with you, man."

"I miss hanging out with you too, Alex," he murmurs, his voice barely audible. He puts on what I can tell is his bravest smile before excitedly saying, "Think of all the music we can write together!"

"Oh my god, I know!" I exclaim, nodding enthusiastically. "We could definitely be, like, Ericson's resident band."

"Shall we get started when you get back?"

"Alex!" Mitch calls for me from the gates. "Let's get a move on!"

"I'm coming!" I yell at Mitch. I turn to Louis. "Absolutely! I'll catch you later, Louis."

"Be careful out there, Lex," he says with a warm smile. "I can still call you Lex, right?"

"Of course. And I will be. See you soon." I extend a clenched fist and he bumps it with his own. I turn to catch up with the others, my backpack bouncing on my back as I run. Maybe we can sort this. Getting back together is definitely off the cards, but we can repair the damage I caused.

***

Alex

"This hunt is going nowhere," Aasim complains as, after yet another hour, we still haven't caught a single thing. And of course, I know we've been out here for a while, because I'm painfully aware of his constant whining.

"We have to keep trying," Brody reasons calmly, "something is bound to turn up."

"Oh yeah?" Aasim argues back. "It's been like this for a couple of weeks now, where we can't catch a damn thing. We are slowly running out of food nearby, and we're supposed to stay positive?"

"Lay off her, Aasim," Mitch snaps, stepping up to him aggressively, his stocky build working in his favor. "This isn't anyone's fault, so stop acting like Brody's deliberately starving us."

While they continue arguing among themselves, I hear rustling from a nearby bush. It sounds promising.

"Guys," I hiss sharply, interrupting them. I point sharply towards the bush and they all shut up. I retrieve my blade and slowly approach the bush, a steady footstep at a time. The others follow me, weapons ready. I move towards it, with the feeling of promise rising in my chest, but as I get nearer, I hear something that makes my heart drops. I raise a hand behind me to get the others to stop.

"What's wrong, Alex?" Brody whispers behind me.

"Do you guys not hear that?" I enquire. They all strain to hear, but then shake their heads in unison. "Just... stay here," I instruct, gesturing with outstretched hands. I creep towards the bush, the faint walker snarling they couldn't hear growing louder to my ears. I pull my gun out of my belt and eject the magazine. I glance back at the others and mouth, watch this, before tossing the magazine just in front of the bush. It lands with a dull thud.

"Well, this is fucking stupi-" Aasim starts before he is suddenly interrupted by the rotting arm that breaks out of the bush. The little bitch, clearly not expecting it, lets out a terrified yelp. I, already on my toes, spring towards the walker as soon as its head pokes out, driving my blade hard into its soft skull. It stops moving. I straighten up, sheath my knife and furiously storm up to Aasim.

"This," I say through gritted teeth, angrily pointing at the dead walker behind us, "is exactly why you don't dismiss someone's idea if they think they've seen or heard something. You have to stay focused at all times, even if you think that the precautions taken are stupid or overly wary."

"It was just a walker in a bush," he argues back defensively, "I don't see what the problem is."

"That's exactly my point! You don't know what it's like out there! It's not like there are walls to hide behind at the end of the day. You're constantly watching for walkers around corners, in bushes, under debris... they are everywhere." I shake my head angrily. "You could easily get caught out. A second is all it takes."

"Pff, whatever," he mumbles back. I am beyond livid, so I square up to him.

"One of these days, Aasim," I say threateningly, "a walker will creep up on you and I won't be there to stop it." I feel the strong grip of Mitch on my shoulder as he pulls me away from Aasim.

"Come on, Alex," he says firmly, "you need to back off too."

"Fine."

Before I can even take two steps away from that dickhead, the faint sound of a massive explosion sings through the air, freezing all of us dead in our tracks. It's followed by the sounds of a car being majorly over-revved. It ends with a series metallic crunch sounds ringing into the sky, before it all falls silent.

Finally, Mitch speaks up: "What the fuck was that?"

"Car crash," I answer instinctively. The sounds a car makes when it smashes into something is unmistakeable to me.

"What do we do?" Aasim asks, concern etched over his face.

"What can we do?" Brody asks rhetorically. "It sounded pretty far off, beyond the safe zone..."

"As much as I hate to say this," I find myself speaking, "but it's not our call. We need food tonight, otherwise it's going to get rough. Let's move, we're burning daylight."

As we walk past the dead walker, I scoop up the magazine, insert it back into my gun, and secure it back into my belt.

***

Clementine

I wake up and the first thing that I register is that my head kills. The second thing I register is that I'm in a strange room and I have no idea where I am. I gaze around, my vision slightly blurry. I am on the bottom bunk of a bunk bed, with another one across the room on my left. Between the two is a dresser with a few miscellaneous objects on top of it. I'm not too sure but it might be a first aid kit, I can't really tell from this angle. The windows, no longer containing glass, have been boarded up with wooden planks. A stray scrap of curtain is disturbed by the breeze that enters the room. I rest my head again, the pain poking away at me, before...

"AJ!" I cry, bolting upright. Except I don't get very far, as I feel sharp tug in my left arm. I look across and see that my wrist has been taped to the bed post, hence the inability to move very far. I examine the tape and tear it off. Gingerly, I sit myself up on the bed and have another quick glance around the room.

"What is this place?" I ask myself as I pull myself to my feet. I look over to the dresser, and I was right, there is a first aid kit on top. I bring my hand to my head and find it's been bandaged. I have no idea what is going on. My best bet would be to arm myself. I scan the room and find my eyesight landing on the closet behind me. I dart over to it and tug it open. It's empty, except I see a tool box on a shelf... quite a bit above me. I fold my arms angrily as Alex's taunts dart through my head.

Time to prove her wrong.

I stand on my tip-toes and stretch up to the tool box, but it's too far back and I can't reach. Defeated, I stop trying to reach it.

She was right... I am short.

Fortunately for me, behind me is a desk and a chair. Perfect. I grab the chair and drag it to the closet, where I can climb up it and grab the tool box with ease. It's covered with stickers and dried flecks of paint. Climbing down from the chair, I place it on the desk and open it up to examine its contents. I find a small palette knife. It seems sharp enough. This'll do. I walk up to the door and try opening it. Unsurprisingly, it's locked. But that's not a problem for me now. Using the palette knife, I force the door open. I ease the door open and peer out.

The room leads into a corridor with a lot of graffiti. It's empty. I creep outside, the sound of my footsteps bouncing off the walls. I try to step as lightly as I can, but it can't be helped. This place is a mess: cracked walls, splintered floor tiles, ivy creeping everywhere, damaged and discarded furniture blocking off corridors, holes in the ceiling...

I spy a damaged display case with the words "fuck you" etched into the glass... very mature. I make a left and follow the corridor around to the right. I peer around the corner, and I see the doors at the end open... Shit! Someone's coming! I need a place to hide! I frantically search around and bolt behind a small wall, and wait, palette knife at the ready. Their footsteps ring around me as they approach nearer, cautiously stepping towards the door I left ajar.

It's... it's a kid. As soon as he sees that I'm not in the room, he draws a knife of his own, preparing to venture inside to investigate.

"Don't move," I instruct as I spring to my feet. It scares the life out of him. "Stay where you are. Don't turn around." He raises his arms in surrender. "Put down the knife."

A male voice from nearby, accompanied by the sound of a bow being prepared, speaks up: "How about you do the same?" I look to my right and see a silhouetted figure. The boy turns around to face me, and the figure moves away from the corner. "We're not gonna hurt you. We've got your boy. He's safe." I quickly glance at my pathetic little palette knife, and then back at the figure, who still has his bow drawn and ready. "I'll take you to him. Just put down the knife," he says lowly, a warning.

I comply and drop it.

"Your turn," I say. In a smooth motion, he slowly releases his bow. "See?" he says as he steps out of the shadows, putting away his weapons as he walks, "we're not going to hurt you." Standing before me is a kid, with blonde hair, shaved at the sides, wearing a dirty letterman jacket. A bright red 'E', peeling off slightly, is on the front of it. The smaller boy steps up beside him. "I'm Marlon," he introduces himself warmly. He places a hand on the shoulder of the other boy. "The little guy is Tennessee. Tenn for short. He's the one who's been taking care of you."

The boy known as Tennessee looks down at the ground in front of him, unwilling to look up.

"He, uh," Marlon explains, "doesn't talk much."

I introduce myself: "Clementine."

"Sorry about locking the door and tying you to the bed and all," he says apologetically. "You were, uh, in pretty rough shape when we found you. We had to take precautions, y'know, just in case."

"No need to explain. Like you said, I was in pretty rough shape."

"Yeah, to say the least," Marlon replies, offering a warm smile. It's quickly replaced by a pensive scowl. "It must have been tough out there. For the both of you." I glance away briefly, unsure of what to say, so I stay quiet. "Anyway, didn't mean to scare you," he reiterates, "just being cautious. Sorry if it came across the wrong way, but you're safe now. So's your friend. Come on, let's go see your boy."

He turns away down the hall and I follow him, Tennessee tagging along behind. He leads us outside, and... holy shit, I can't believe this place. Buildings, greenery, other people. They even have walls! It's a community... and I am temporarily lost for words.

As Marlon comes up behind me, he asks, "So you've been surviving out there a while, huh?"

"Yeah," I answer, "we've been on the road a long time."

"Take it you know how to handle yourself?"

I think about how shit things have been recently: the shortage of food, the rigged supply AJ and I found. It hasn't been great.

"It's taken its toll," I admit honestly. "Been making a lot of mistakes recently. You saw the car."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You lived, didn't you?"

Only just. Marlon walks onwards and I decide to follow down a footpath, the overgrown grass lapping at the edges. As we walk, I see one boy carrying a pile of logs. Tennessee runs from behind me towards a wall and emits a sharp whistle, disturbing the distant figure lying on top of it. There are picnic benches nearby and I spy a rather thick novel sat on top of it. I sigh; the reminders are everywhere.

"It's good we found you when we did." I look up at Marlon as he speaks. "It wasn't easy getting you two out of that wreck, and walkers were on the way."

Wait a second... walkers? Everyone has their own word for the dead, and usually these differ greatly. The Garcías' word for it was in Spanish, which shows how much it varies between people. Yet this lot use the same word Lee coined all those years ago? Coincidence? I don't know...

"The car, was it totaled?" I ask urgently.

"Yeeah."

"Fuck." I stop walking as I think about how reduced my options are now. That car was the main factor in our survival, and now it's just scrap metal. I mentally kick myself for being so careless. These stupid little mistakes keep adding up, constantly making me lose my focus as I try to avoid repeating them. It's like a large snowball, rolling, and growing, growing. I'll be realistic here, I need someone to keep me sharp and attentive while I look after AJ. On my own, it's difficult. While I was lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice another younger boy emerge in front of me, with straw-like brown hair. His mouth is slightly agape as he stares at me, revealing missing and uneven teeth.

"I don't know what would've happened if we hadn't seen the smoke," Marlon continues from ahead, not noticing I've lagged behind.

"I... appreciate it..." is all I can offer. This kid is distracting.

"All alone with a kid? Not a pleasant thought," Marlon muses, the kid still starting at me.

"Uh... hi there?" I say uncertainly to the boy. And just like that, he runs off. What the hell? Marlon has noticed that I've fallen behind and comes back to re-join me. "What's his problem?" I ask.

"You're just new," he says simply. "We haven't seen anything like you in... quite a while."

Oh really? Who the hell is going to be like me? I gaze around the courtyard and ask the question that's been nagging me since I woke up; "What is this place?"

"You can probably tell it used to be a school. Now it's whatever we want it to be."

"And who's in charge?"

"Well... I am. Probably sounds strange, kids run by a kid, but we do alright for ourselves. It's always good to have some new faces around too."

"Is that so?" I query.

"Yep. We've had one 'outsider' join us, but she's been here so long, she part of the family now. You can be too."

"That sounds nice," I say warmly, feeling a faint smile grow on my face.

"Then allow me to make it formal: welcome to Ericson's Boarding School for Troubled Youth," he declares, lifting an arm to present the place with a small spin. "You and your boy, it feels like you both fit that description."

"I was pretty good as a kid before everything changed," I reply. "Made a lot of trouble since then."

"We all had to grow up fast," Marlon says as he folds his arms, looking off into the distance. "I'd say that goes double for your boy. He's been a little terror since he arrived."

"Uh," I start up defensively, "excuse me?"

"Let's just say he hasn't been happy without you around," he says flatly, turning to face me. "At all."

Oh boy. It'll be fun unpicking this mess.

"YO! MARLON!" a gravelly voice screams from the distance, startling me. I look to find the origin, and it's that weird toothy boy from the top of a watch post. "We've got walkers on the fence!"

"Shit, I need to take care of this," Marlon tells me. He appears a little disgruntled. As he walks away, he grumbles, "Knowing Willy it's two grandma walkers and an angry squirrel. You got bigger fish. The kid's inside... I think he's with Louis."

"Louis?" I question, the vagueness irritating me slightly. How am I supposed to know who Louis is? Marlon realizes this.

"Oh, right," he corrects himself as he walks away, calling over his shoulder, "just listen for the music, you'll find him. Get a move on Willy! Where's your damn weapon?"

***

Alex

"So let me get this straight... we've been out here for hours, and all we've got are three rabbits? Shit!"

"We tried Alex," Brody tries to comfort me as I pace angrily.

"I know we did," I utter weakly, defeated, "but we're draining the nearby resources. We have to reach out further!"

"But we can't go outside the safe zone!" Brody squeaks, her breathing getting more frantic. I can sense another panic attack brewing, so I take the more consilatory approach.

"Okay, no, fine, fine," I stutter, "now's not the time. We've gotta get back, it'll be dark soon." Mitch, who was in the distance collecting his kill, wanders back over, his catch hoisted over his shoulder. The determination in his face says that he's not ready to give up on this hunt just yet. "Alternate suggestion: you guys can hang back for a little longer while I'll press on ahead, maybe clear the way you for if there's any trouble."

"Be careful," Mitch says.

"I'll be fine, but that explosion, that'll probably draw more trouble," I state, my speech slightly muffled now. "Watch out for each other, okay?"

And with that, I start sprinting back towards the school, the wind whistling in my ears. The dazzling sunset is distorted by the grimy flecks of blood and grease caked onto my glasses, making it more difficult to see things. My breathing stays mostly light, all the time spent working on my fitness finally paying off. Laps around the school every evening in all weathers, with Louis shouting his encouragement each time I passed him.

Before I know it, I'm nearing the main gates, with a very disgruntled Violet peering out of them.

"Vi!" I call as I jog up to her. "What's going on?"

"Walkers are closing in and we've got to clear them out. Someone completely wrecked their car and it's bringing them right to our doorstep. We had to go out and drag them back." She rolls her eyes, clearly pissed off.

"I heard it. You're telling me someone actually survived that? It sounded pretty terminal if you ask me," I say, brushing a few strands of hair out of my face.

"Where are the others?" Marlon asks, approaching the gate.

"I went ahead," I reply, gesturing a thumb behind me. "They should be coming along soon."

I noticed Violet's eyes widen as she spies something behind me.

"Alex! Watch yourself!" she yelps. I spin around and spy a few walkers in the distance. Without a moment's hesitation, I pull my bandanna from my neck over my face and draw my blade in a single fluid motion. More walkers emerge from the treeline.

"Get the others out here, now!" I instruct as I prepare to bolt. I spring towards the first walker, take its leg out from underneath it, and sink my knife into its skull.

Piece of cake.

***

Clementine

Marlon ushered us out here pretty urgently, saying that walkers are starting to close in on the school. He wanted a little extra help from me, which I agreed to.

"Rosie!" Marlon yells. "Where the hell is she?"

As I walk along with AJ, and Louis, who I've just met, I spy a girl up by the main gate, peering out. As we draw closer, Marlon turns to Louis.

"You give her her weapon back?" I draw my knife as an answer. "Good. We're going to need you to put it to use. We've got a hunting party out there trying to get back inside. One's out there now trying to clear the way, and she needs our help."

"Lex?!" Louis questions, his voice dripping with concern. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine," Marlon replies, and I watch as Louis' face floods with relief. "There seems to be more than usual out there today..."

The girl at the gate finally speaks up: "It's almost like something drew their attention. Something like... I don't know, an explosion. Or a car crash."

"Vi..." Marlon challenges, clearly not impressed with her callous behavior. Well, I'm not sinking to her level.

"I don't think we've met," I say. "I'm Clementine."

"Yeah I know," she replies instantly. "Your kid won't stop talking about you." I feel a scowl grow on my face. What's her problem? Louis clears his throat from behind me.

"Hello Clementine," he says with an overly sweet voice, like a parent trying to teach their child how to interact with people, "I'm Violet, nice to meet you."

"What he said."

Okaaaay...

"Guys!" yells as distant female voice which instantly catches my attention. We all gather towards the gate and peer out. A solitary figure it out there, seriously kicking some walker ass. I watch as she sweeps a leg out from beneath a walker before plunging her knife into its head, kind of like how... I do it? It's similar, very similar... "I need some help out here," she calls, "and I need it now!" Wait a second. That voice is awfully familiar... but I can't place it. Violet opens up the gate and heads outside, while Marlon pulls an arrow out of his quiver and fits it to his bow.

"Be careful out there," he says, determined expression on his face. He turns and runs after Violet.

"Don't mind Violet," Louis says softly, coming up to me. "She, uh, grows on you. I promise." As he finishes his sentence, he hoists what looks like a chair leg with a lot of nails hammered into the top, like some barbaric furniture club. I look at it quizzically, which Louis notices. "Oh this?" he says as he swings it off his shoulder, showing it to me. "It's a chair leg. I call it Chairles." He smirks at his own joke, before turning away and following the others.

I shake my head while simultaneously rolling my eyes at that dumb joke. I've known him for the best part of five minutes and Louis is already quite a character. I pass through the rusty old gate, closing it shut behind me. A tiny voice rings out from it.

"Clem! Lemme help!" AJ pleads. I turn back towards him and crouch to his level.

"I need you to watch my back. Call out from inside if you see anything. Cool?" I finish with a small, reassuring smile.

"Okay..." AJ says, disappointed. It's for his own good, it's too dangerous out here.

"See you on the other side." I turn and head towards the walkers and watch as Violet drives a meat cleaver into a walker's head, using her foot to kick it off. Meanwhile, Louis swings Chairles with all of his might, knocking the walker of its feet. The other figure... 'Lex'... I can't see her face. It's covered by a bandanna, with thick-rimmed glasses peeking over the top of it. She stabs a walker straight in its head, before pulling the blade out and tossing the body to one side. I prepare myself to follow the others into the fight.

Gripping my knife tightly, I walk purposefully up to a walker, kick its leg out from beneath it, and stab it. The reanimated corpse goes still, and I wrestle my blade out of its skull, the body slumping onto the damp ground. A second one lurches towards me as soon as I free my blade, not giving me the space or time to recover. It lunges at me, and I have to resist with all my energy to stop it from sinking its teeth into me. I can't... I can't push it away from me! Out of the corner of my eye, I see someone leap onto the wrecked car beside me, before launching off, tearing the walker off me. Before I can register what is happening, I watch as Lex wrestles with the walker on the ground before killing it, sinking her knife into the soft skull of the walker. She shoves the body aside before pulling herself to her feet.

She looks straight at me and freezes.

"Holy shit..." she whispers, her eyes widening. "No way... no way..." She then snaps out of it and runs towards Louis.

What the hell is going on?

I follow behind her, tackling a walker that was hunting her down, killing it.

"Woah, nice one Clementine!" Louis shouts from the distance. "Could use a little more finesse though! Watch and learn!" He turns to Lex. "Dynamic Duo?"

"Fuck yeah," she replies, with an accent twang that I cannot for the life of me work out where it's from! Southern, perhaps? She starts whistling a loud, piercing whistle to attract the walkers' attention, while Louis produces a knife. He crouches down near a tree and cuts a small rope. A huge rock comes crashing down from above, landing on the walker and turning it into a bloody pulp.

"And that's how you school a walker!" Louis proudly announces.

"Lou!" Lex yells at him. "Stop showing off and give me Chairles!" Louis complies and throws it to her, which she catches with ease.

"Seriously?" Violet shouts from nearby. "You're indulging him with that stupid name?"

"Focus guys!" Lex yells back, running towards another walker. She swings as hard as she can, removing its lower jaw. I watch as it sails through the air before landing at my feet. "And Louis, stop wasting the traps! We can do fine without them!" she scolds angrily. Louis responds with a sheepish grin. Where on earth have I heard that voice before? It's driving me insane!

We all spot the fiery torchlight from nearby at the same time. Marlon announces that it's the rest of the hunting party and we continue to press on through the walkers. As Lex throws Chairles back to Louis, a small sparkly glint catches my attention. I look closer and I see it, suspended from her neck, poking out beneath the bandanna.

A golden ring hanging from a cord. And then it all clicks into place.

No... no way... it's not Lex...

It's Alex. The glasses, the way she's taking out the walkers, the voice... she's alive. She spots me staring at her.

"Stay focused, Shorty, we'll talk soon," she calls over to me, resulting in a puzzled, what-the-fuck look from Louis, who quickly swings at a walker, caving in its skull. I stride up to another walker and dispatch of it, while the masked specter covers my rear. I stab another before Marlon calls us over and we make our way over a small bridge.

"Nice timing," Violet addresses the hunting group as they approach, "we weren't going to be able to hold them off much longer." Alex shakes her head disapprovingly.

"This isn't as bad as you're making it out to be," she says from behind the bandanna.

"It's a good thing you went ahead and cleared some space from us," Brody offers.

"Did you guys manage without me okay?"

"Fine, but we lost a rabbit." Alex glares angrily at the boy without the rabbit.

"Oh for fuck's sake, Aasim!" she growls before turning back to the school. "Let's get a move on and get inside," she instructs the rest of us.

"Keep an eye out for stragglers," Marlon warns.

I look up at Alex, on my right, who raises her eyebrows as a greeting. She pulls down the bandanna, revealing a bright, cheery smile. The bright cheery smile that was infectious and could always cheer me up. I smile back, trying hard to fight back my tears. I notice a small scar on her face, the side I'm on, starting just below her nose and travelling down over her lips and halfway down her chin. It's a raw pink color, so it must be a relatively new injury. It's weird... it's like looking at a ghost. Yet here she is, alive, tougher, and older. Violet follows up on my left, meat cleaver at the ready.

"You know, you're not half bad considering the circumstances and all," Violet compliments me.

"Thanks," I reply, also smiling at her.

"Alright," Alex chirps up, "let's take these fuckers out," the fuckers being crippled walkers, shuffling or crawling around the gates. Violet takes out one walker, leaving the other with an arrow sticking out of it for me. I kill it, only to watch the boy known as Aasim fire an arrow at a walker, muttering "piece of shit" as he goes to retrieve his projectile. Oh no. A walker is creeping up behind him, and Alex sees it too. She sprints towards the walker, tackling it to the ground. She wrestles with it, trying hard to shove it off her, but with little luck.

A piercing whistle followed by the loud cry of "Rosie!" sounds from her. I rush towards the tangled pair, and grab the walker, trying to pull it off. I drag it off Alex, who is cursing and scrambling away from it on all fours. And before I can take two steps away from it, a large mass of muscle and fur comes charging up to in, sinking its teeth into its head and crushing its skull into a bloody pulp. It's... it's a dog...

My heart leaps into my throat and my breathing gets rapid and shallow. I feel the screaming agony of my arm being torn to shreds flare up along the old scar. My hands tremble uncontrollably as my legs turn to jelly, while my head feels faint. The dog steps up towards me menacingly, growling.

"Hey hey hey!" Alex says as she rushes up between me and the dog. "Rosie, go find Marlon!" The dog pauses and cocks her head as if she doesn't understand what Alex's saying. "Where's your daddy, girl?" she continues, and the dog excitedly trots up to Marlon and sits by his feet. He crouches beside her, scratching her head.

"Good girl!" he praises her, beaming. "I see you and Rosie are making friends."

"Had a bad experience with a dog once," I admit, poking my head from behind Alex.

"And yet," Alex says with a small laugh, "you're using me as a human shield... thanks a lot, Clementine."

"Wait," Marlon says with a confused expression, "you two know each other?"

"From way back," Alex replies proudly, pushing me forward from behind her. "We got separated a long time ago."

Marlon nods, as if satisfied with the answer. "Let's get inside. I'm fuckin' starving."

"Amen to that," Alex calls out to him. We all follow him back to the school and having Alex by my side again fills me with such confidence, as if nothing can go wrong. Someone who knows my every move, who has my back. "By the way," she whispers to me, "when we get inside those gates, you're getting a fuckin' massive hug."

I feel my cheeks flush. There's something about her that's... different. Her manner is more mature, more sensible, gentle, caring. She looks worn, hardened, and if that scar is anything to go by, she's been through a lot. Yet that sparkle in her eyes is as vivid as it was the night I met her. And I'm finding myself getting mesmerized in them. She gives me a cute smirk before looking ahead.

Oh my god she is just stunning and I can't believe that she's alive and here after all this time and I'm here too and I'm literally an internal mess and I can't even-

My thoughts are interrupted by Louis jogging up to join us.

"Still standing I see," he says to me. He turns to Violet. "I'd call that a B-plus performance there, Vi. You've done better."

"Fuck off," Violet retorts, flipping him off. Alex laughs.

"B-minus then. Now, Clem here? That was a solid A, A-plus even."

"What about Alex?" I ask. "That was like an A-plus-plus. You've really improved since I last saw you."

Alex giggles before saying, "Thanks, Clem."

"Woah, hold up," Louis orders, coming to a standstill. "You two definitely know each other?"

"Uh-huh," Alex says with a quick nod. "Long story."

I watch her as we walk back, ignoring Marlon and Aasim argue up ahead. She's wearing ripped jeans, a faded leather jacket, scuffed boots, a grubby gray bandanna around her neck, her precious ring hanging from her neck. And then I see her shirt.

"Alex?" I ask gently.

"Yeah?" she answers.

"You're not seriously wearing a shirt that says, "bite me," are you?"

"Yes, yes, yes I am."

***

Alex

I get inside the gates. It's good to be home again. I'm hungry, I'm tired, and I am so, so happy. I wander a little way into the school courtyard before spinning around on my heel.

I gaze at the tiny girl who was fading into a distant memory. And here she is, standing in front of me, making her way inside the school. She is absolutely tiny and it's adorable. The sweet, dainty features of her face make me feel all fuzzy inside and I am overwhelmed by the desire to kiss her. Overall, she's just... beautiful... and my heart is threatening to burst out of my chest. Before either of us could say a word, she charges at me, crashing into me and causing me to land on my ass. The tears she'd been fighting back (yes, I noticed!) spill over instantly and she blubbers incoherently, clinging on to me as if her life depended on it. I sit up a little before shuffling onto my knees, clutching her.

"Alex," she weeps, "I saw you get swept away, I thought you were... I thought you w-"

"Shh, shh," I whisper, feeling my voice start to crack, "it's okay. My lucky streak, remember? Getting out of tight spots, that's my thing." I hug her tighter, closer. "God, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," she whimpers, her body being wracked by a fresh wave of sobbing. I push her away from me to get a better look at her face. The tears have created tracks in the dirt on her face, and she's beaming at me, as if my sudden reappearance is the best thing that has ever happened to her. I gently wipe the tears away from cheeks, to which she smiles even harder, appreciatively. Her beautiful brown eyes glisten in the moonlight and I can feel myself falling in love. Hard.

And I think that now would be the perfect time to kiss her.

Should I?


	6. War and Stew

Clementine

And here we are, years apart, crouching in the dirt, starting at each other. After years of doubt and speculation, she's alive! At this distance, I'm able to examine her closely. The scar on the left side of her face - my right from where I am - runs completely across her lips, as if the cut was pretty deep. As she smiles, the top half it shrinks while the bottom half stretches slightly. The slight roundedness from her face has long gone, as if she finally shed some of the baby fat from her cheeks. Her bright, sparkling blue eyes glisten with the tears she's fighting back. The fact that she's crying is an incredible sight. I've seen her cry with frustration, with pain, but never this. Happiness. Overwhelming happiness. Except, in typical Alex fashion, she's not letting the tears spill. They fog up the lenses of her glasses, which, surprise surprise, are filthy. With a delicate hand, I take them off her, which she allows without protest.

We both laugh nervously, her chuckle making my heart flutter. This is surreal, I never dreamed... no, that's not true. I always dreamed of seeing her again. I never thought I'd ever, ever see her again. The more I thought about her over the years, the more I realized that, yes, I did have a very, very small crush on her. But me being me, clueless, I simply thought I enjoyed her company because we were good friends. As soon as I realized, I started mentally kicking myself all the time, for being a complete idiot. We stare at each other in silence. The hand she used to wipe away my tears has moved. Alex is holding my face up by my chin. It's gentle, more supporting rather than forcing me in place. I want to be here.

I find that my gaze keeps drifting to her scarred lips, no matter how many times I force it away. I notice that she's doing the same thing, looking at my lips, then to me, and then back to my lips. As soon as she realizes that I know what she's thinking, she raises her eyebrows apologetically. I send a soft smile that says it's okay. I can feel the slight pull as she brings me in and-

"Clem?"

Oh, you have got to be kidding me...

"AJ!" I squeak, embarrassed. "What are you doing?" I feel my cheeks redden as I become painfully aware of the possibility that other people could have been watching the whole time too.

"Holy..." Alex utters as her head snaps to the tiny voice of AJ, who is standing uncomfortably close to us. "That's... that's..." she stutters, pointing at the kid in disbelief, "... that's AJ?! Oh my god, he's so big! You found him! You actually found him! Holy fuck!"

"Clem says I can't use those words," he says, his brow furrowing in disappointment as he glares at me, clearly wishing to swear.

Alex ignores him and starts laughing, at a complete loss for words. She brings her hands up to her temples, clearly not believing what she's seeing. She starts laughing. "Didn't I tell you everything will be okay?"

"You did," I beam brightly, secretly fuming at AJ for interrupting us!

"My God, Clem, well done! I knew you could do it!" she grins cheerily, clearly struggling to register everything that's going on. "So, AJ, you probably don't remember me, but my name is Alex. It's nice to meet you," she says warmly as she turns to him, extending a hand. AJ stares at her, unsure of what he's supposed to do. With her free hand, Alex gently clasps AJ's and guides it into hers, before giving it a shake. His face screws up as he's confused as to what's going on. Alex picks up on this. "It's a friendly greeting," she explains simply, an encouraging smile on her face. "It's what people used to do when they first met each other." Alex lets go, leaving AJ to examine his hand in bewilderment.

"I recognise you from the photographs Clementine has," he says, switching his gaze between the Nashville native and his hand.

"Photographs?" she asks AJ before turning to me. "You still have them?"

"Of course I do," I reply.

"She looks at them every night," AJ says, his attention returning to Alex.

"I do not!" I yelp defensively, feeling my face flush even hotter.

"She does, every single night!" he continues, not letting me downplay his story. Oh my god, please stop talking!

"He lies," I explain quickly, feeling my throat dry up with embarrassment, "compulsive, he never stops."

"Riiiight," Alex says skeptically, a mocking grin plastered across her face. Clearly she didn't buy that. Goddammit.

I press her glasses back into her hands, the physical contact lingering for about three seconds. Finally, she takes them from me and puts them on.

"Come on," she says as she stands, extending a hand to help me up. I accept it, and with ease, she pulls me to my feet. She pushes her glasses up her nose with an adorable smirk, and begins introducing me to everyone, clearly proud that she already knows me from way back. AJ goes out of his way to shake hands with everyone, Alex correcting him whenever he used his left hand. I notice that she seems comfortable around Willy and Mitch, unwilling to talk to Aasim, warm towards Violet and Tenn, and reserved around Louis and Omar. Her reaction to Louis is interesting, to say in the least. Or rather, it's his reaction to her. Alex seems very friendly towards him, whereas Louis looks a little lost around her. The confident demeanor he displayed to me seemed to have suddenly vanished as soon as she stepped up to him. Friendly, but very unsure of himself. Finally, we get around to Ruby, who AJ is very reluctant to approach. I push him forward.

"AJ, you need to apologize for biting Ruby," I instruct sternly.

"Wait, are you saying that AJ bit her?" she asks before bursting into a peal of laughter. The southerner glares at Alex, which forces her to laugh even harder. "I'm sorry Ruby, but that is pretty funny!" The Tennessee twang to her accent pokes through a lot more around Ruby, which is just... super cute. Ignoring the fact that Alex's presence is turning me into an internal mess, I encourage AJ to apologize, which she accepts.

"Tell you what," Alex finally says to me, "you go talk to Marlon and Brody. I'll go check on dinner."

"Sure thing."

"Oh, and Clem?"

"Yeah?" I ask. She hesitates slightly before speaking, running a thumb over her ring.

"It's... it's real good to see you again, Shorty." That dreaded nickname, the only that would almost always follow with a soft punch from me. Not this time. This time, I just want to hold her tight and never let go again.

"You only get a free pass on that because I thought you were dead," I shoot back with a laugh.

"Well, you are a lot shorter than I remember."

"And you're much taller."

"Five foot six," she announces proudly. "We found a tape measure the other week, but now we don't know where it's gone. Willy was the last one to have it, so if you ever find it, don't touch it. That boy is filthy." She finishes speaking with a shake of her head and an eyeroll. I can't keep my eyes off the scar on her lips. I find it kind of cute, I guess. Her look has almost evolved from sweet-and-cute to badass, I could cut your throat unprovoked. It's attractive.

"I'll keep it in mind."

"See you in a bit."

As she walks away, she lets her hair down, which is pretty long, a few inches below her shoulders. The breeze catches it, causing it to flow behind her. She gives her head a shake to free the hair up a bit. I think it's safe to say that I have one hell of a crush on her. Did we have a moment? Or did I imagine that she was going to kiss me? I don't know. I mean, I hope so. She is literally the most awesome person I've ever met. Already she's keeping an eye out for me, introducing me to everyone here, and teaching AJ how to socialize. It feels as if we're picking up exactly where we left off. Well, almost.

The knotted sense of longing in my chest definitely wasn't there before. She's been gone six seconds and I already miss her.

***

Alex

As I walk over to Louis, he flashes his shit-eating grin at me. My guess is that he had watched me introduce Clementine to everyone and noticed that I was absolutely loving it. Why wouldn't I? My partner-in-crime was back! Clem and Alex, kicking ass and taking names, just like the old days! It's so strange seeing her after all this time, her soft voice filling my ears and strangling my heart.

"What?" I ask grumpily. He laughs at me, his chuckle reverberated by the night air. "Get that smirk off your face or I'll get it off with Chairles, you ass!"

"You like her, don't you?" he asks me, teasing. I, uh, what? Shit!

"Fuck off Louis!" I hiss defensively, scowling up at him. "I do not!" I hadn't considered that he can read me better than anyone else. Clementine can read me too, but in all fairness, Louis has known me for a lot longer than she has. If anyone knows how exactly how I'm feeling just from my face, it's Louis. He gives me a yeah, right look as he places his hands on his hips, unconvinced.

"That's a lie. You definitely do, and you were gonna kiss her, weren't you?" He raises his eyebrows at me.

"You're imagining things, Lou," I highlight with an awkward, dismissive laugh to mask the fact that he is right on the money. "I haven't seen Clementine in years, I'm not gonna kiss someone as soon as I find them again! Even if I did like them! Which I don't!" I push my glasses up my face again. This pair slips down my nose a lot as they're a little bit on the big side, but out of all the pairs we found, they helped with my vision the most, so they'll have to do.

Louis cocks his head to the side as he listens to my animated ranting, clearly not changing his mind.

"I give it two weeks," he states, grinning even harder. "Two weeks and you'll be together."

"How do you even know she likes me?" I query, folding my arms.

"Violet said so, and you know she can tell. We were all watching you. You two were definitely having a moment."

"Dude, what the fuck?" I cry, punching Louis in the arm. "Haven't you guys ever heard of privacy?" Sometimes, I don't believe these guys! It's like being back in first grade!

"It was such a heart-warming moment. We couldn't just ignore it." Playfully, he nudges me back. "It was clear you two missed each other. But I am surprised that you've never mentioned her before."

I sigh before speaking.

"It hurt too much, Lou. The night I lost them both, it felt like... like I had lost my family."

Louis looks at me in a stunned silence, what I said clearly resonating in his head. He doesn't know what to say, and I don't blame him, so I decide to lighten the mood.

"And you guys, watching us, Jesus Christ, respect people's privacy!" I complain in a spirited manner, to show that I'm not really upset with them at all. I'm too happy to get truly pissed off, let alone stay that way.

"Well, you and I both know that it's Willy who doesn't respect privacy. That kid doesn't even understand knocking." Louis rubs his neck awkwardly, thinking about the numerous times we were walked in on by him...

"Oh God, don't remind me," I murmur with a nervous chuckle, feeling myself blush again, albeit for a different reason. "So embarrassing."

"You guys know I'm standing here, right?" Omar speaks up, causing Louis to blush and me to blush even harder.

"Sorry Omar," we chorus to him. He nods as a sign that he accepted the apology and returns to his cooking, his art.

"The time we had together was fun," Louis muses, folding his arms. "Even though it's over, I'm glad it happened, made me realize that not everything in this world sucks."

"I enjoyed it too. I'm sorry I ended it," I say softly, and I mean it. Louis was, is, a sweetheart, and I hurt him so bad. He didn't deserve it at all. I just... have my reasons. The worst part of it is that I can't explain why. Not yet. "And I'm sorry about Clementine. I get it must be hard for you."

"So you do like her."

"I never said-"

"It's okay. We all have to move on at some point," he says, the sparkle in his eyes fading as he breaks eye contact with me. He's hurting, despite the brave facade he's displaying. He's trying with every fiber of his being to be a supportive friend, a good ex. I know he still loves me. Violet told me. I've asked her to keep me updated on how he's doing emotionally, because I know he will always try to fake it around me. His gaze returns to mine, before he flashes a soft, genuine smile. "Now go on Lex, sweep her off her feet. You have my blessing."

"Thanks, dude." I grin at him, grateful for his support and encouragement.

"No problem, Alex," Louis says warmly. "And it looks like Chef Omar is finally happy for his final product to be released." We watch as Omar gathers up the old, cracked bowls we use for food, ready for his wonderful culinary concoction to be served into. We used to have a lot of them, until Louis came up with the bright idea of stacking them. We got a pretty high tower of about eight bowls until they all toppled over and shattered, pieces of ceramic flying everywhere. Being shouted at by Brody and Ruby simultaneously was terrifying, their voices ringing in my ears long after they had stopped scolding us. It took about two months until Lou and I were trusted to be left unattended with the bowls again.

"Thank God, I'm feeling weak at the knees here." It's getting to the point where I'm so hungry I almost feel nauseated.

"I think that'll be Clementine's doing, not the hunger," he jokes.

"Honestly Louis, shut the fuck up!" I squeak, causing him to burst into laughter. I join in too. This guy knows me too well, knowing exactly what to do and say to wind me up. It's driving me insane! I'm glad we're friends again, because I really missed having him around, making me laugh, cheering me up. I just hope that me being this close to Louis doesn't hurt him again.

"Hey Clem! AJ!" Louis yells across the courtyard, cupping his hands together like a megaphone. "Stew's done!"

She looks up to Louis, then to me. I look away shyly and gather some of the filled bowls together, one in each hand, and a third hooked into my arm. Louis also follows my lead, and Violet wanders over to help too.

As she gets close to me, she whispers, "You've definitely got a shot with her."

I feel my face flush, almost dropping a bowl. She smiles, amused by my reaction, before turning away and receiving her servings for the others. I carry the bowls over to the bench Clementine and AJ are sat at. Across from them is Marlon and Ruby. Louis, having finished serving the others, holds back a bowl for himself. He also heads over to the same bench as my long-lost companions, except he seats himself on an old wooden chair at the end of it.

"Here you go," I choke, my voice not wanting to sound out, as I give Clem and AJ their bowls before making my way to the last available seat besides AJ. Where he's smaller, there's still a little room for me to squeeze myself on.

"Thanks, Alex," Clementine says warmly. I look up to Louis who gives me a sneaky wink. I respond with a wicked shut the fuck up glare, causing him to smirk into his stew. The look on Marlon's face strongly suggests that he knows exactly what's going on, so I silently threaten him by subtly stabbing the air with my fork. He grins. This is definitely going to be Ericson's worst-kept secret...

"Bet it's been a while since you've last had a hot meal," I say, hoping to start conversation.

"You have no idea," she replies, taking a forkful. "Wow, this is really good!"

AJ agrees with her statement by lifting his bowl and pouring it down his neck, barely stopping to breathe. I emit a small chuckle and point out how AJ loves it. A disgusted look from Ruby says it all: she is not impressed.

"So, Alex," Clementine starts as I take a spoonful of stew, "how come you didn't go to Prescott?" I don't expect a question from her, so I hastily chew on the piece of meat before responding.

"When I climbed out of that river, I had no idea where I was," I answer, carefully weighing my words. The others don't really know a lot about my 'walker past', and I definitely don't want them to know about our time with the New Frontier. Everything I've done is darker than they could even imagine. It's for their own good. "I kept moving, hoping I would find something. Ended up here."

"I'm glad you made it," she says with a gorgeous smile.

"Uh, yeah... me too."

Oh god. What a dork. She laughs at me and I feel my face burn up for the fiftieth time tonight. The others watch me, exchanging small smiles. Their attention is diverted to Louis who lets out a small belch. His stupid smug face (which I still find faintly attractive) screams that he's proud of it.

"Ugh, come on!" Ruby protests.

An even tinier belch rings out from my right, and I see AJ is wearing most of his stew across his face. He takes a quick glance at everyone before returning to his bowl. I guess things are still pretty rough out there. I sure as hell don't miss it. I'm lucky.

"Where are your manners, AJ?" Clementine reminds him, which he promptly ignores. The scowl on Ruby's face grows.

"Ugh, goodnight," she says, getting up from the bench.

AJ stops slurping his soup and calls out "Goodnight!" after her. He sucks up the last of the stew before placing the empty bowl on the bench. "Clem?" he asks her, clearly wanting more. I get the sneaky feeling that food has been a serious issue for these two recently.

"I'm sorry buddy," she says gently, "I'm sure they shared as much as they could." Poor kid. He looks so disappointed. I slide my bowl to him, but before he can pick it up, Clem places a hand on his arm.

"Al," she says lowly, with the slight air of a threat to it, "if you give AJ that bowl, I will break all of your fingers. You're eating that."

"Woah, I'm not giving it all to him," I say light-heartedly, "we're just... sharing." She gives me a look before letting AJ go, and I allow him to eat it all anyway. He inhales his serving before announcing that he's finished. As soon as Clementine realizes what I've done, she gives me a disapproving glare. Apologetically, I shrug. She rolls her eyes and I laugh.

She's so cute when she's pissed.

"So what entertainment have you got planned for us, Louis?" I ask brightly. As if expecting that question, he quickly hops off his chair, turns it around so the back is leaning against the bench and sits on it. Proudly, Louis produces his pack of cards, resulting in Brody voicing her disapproval from behind us.

"Violet, it's time!" he calls to her. She quickly spins off her seat, leaving Tennessee to his drawing, and comes to join us. AJ, noticing Tenn, shoots off his seat towards him, allowing me to scoot closer to Clementine.

"What's the game tonight, Lou?" Marlon asks.

"War," Louis announces in a serious voice. Shit.

"Nope, I'm out," I declare, rising to my feet. "Goodnight, y'all." I'm stopped as Clem grabs hold of my wrist with a vice-like grip.

"Come on, Alex, it'll be fun," Clementine insists.

"Uh, no. No no." I emit a nervous chuckle. "I'm gone."

"Please? For me? I haven't seen you in years. It'll be good to catch up." She flashes these pleading, puppy-dog eyes at me. Huh, that probably worked for her as a kid, but there's no way that's working on me now. She has a snowball's chance in hell that I'll stay and play Louis' stupid game.

"Fine, I'll stay. For you. Not for these shitheads," I find myself saying. What?! What the hell happened? She smirks as me as she knows she's worked her charm on me. That sneaky...

"We love you too, Alex," Louis jokes, shuffling his cards. Resigned, I sit down. I'd rather keep my past firmly in the past, thank you very much. I tug nervously at my ring, anticipating this to be the night everyone thinks I'm some kind of psychopathic killer. Clementine asks how we play, and Violet explains the rules. As she does this, and Louis lays down the additional conditions on asking each other questions, I reach into my jacket pocket for a nearly-empty bag of tobacco, and a rolling paper. I quickly roll one up, before lighting it with a battered lighter.

"Alex, really?" Violet complains as I take a drag. "You know we all hate it when you do that."

"Come on guys," I argue back, "this is my last one. Get off my dick!"

"What about your emergency one?" Louis presses with small laugh. He doesn't care about my smoking now, and he hasn't for years. "That means you have two left."

"Uh, Louis? It's for emergencies! I'm not gonna smoke it whenever I feel like it! Last resort only!"

"Come on guys, lay off her," Marlon orders sternly, and they all back off. Louis deals all the cards, and we each reveal our first card. Violet is the highest with a king.

"Way to go me," Violet says. "So, about AJ... where are AJ's parents?"

"They're dead," Clementine answers bluntly, no doubt recalling their deaths. AJ's father, Alvin, sacrificed himself to cover her group's escape from a hardware store. His mother, Rebecca, died from blood loss in the middle of a standoff, cradling baby AJ. It was awful. "They were nice people... for the most part."

"It makes sense," Louis offers, "he's a nice kid."

"Nature versus nurture, Lou," I interject, "I base it on who he was raised by." I look at Clem with a soft smile, before taking another drag. Violet rolls her eyes at me, clearly thinking that I'm acting like a moron. What the hell am I even doing? I shouldn't be worried about impressing her... yet I am. We all flip our next cards. This time, Clementine is the highest.

"Hey, I win," she announces proudly.

"Hey, you do," Louis parrots back. "So what do you want to know?"

"Okay, uh... what's the grossest thing you've ever eaten?" Clementine asks with a cocky smirk.

"It's pretty easy," Violet declares. "Uh, horse eyeballs."

"Slugs," Marlon says simply.

"Cantaloupe," Louis answers, his face twisting with disgust.

"C'mon," Violet complains, not convinced that's the worst thing he's ever eaten.

"Dude, I fucking hate cantaloupe." The last time we tried to force Louis to eat it, he nearly threw up. It was pretty entertaining, watching him wretch as he choked the fruit down. We've eaten some really shitty stuff when we've been desperate, yet that orange-fleshed nightmare is what torments him the most.

"To be fair," I add, "it is like in the shit tier of melons."

"Thank you."

"And what about you?" Clementine asks me. Oh boy. I take a quick drag and exhale before answering.

"Rabbit shit," I say as-a-matter-of-factly. Everyone except Louis start freaking out, clearly not believing me. "It's true! Louis made a deal, so that if I ate some, he wouldn't enter the music room for an entire month!" Violet and Marlon murmur between themselves that they did wonder why Louis went AWOL on his 'piano duties'.

"Was it worth it?" Clem asks with a cute grin.

"That's... what I tell myself." She laughs at my perturbed expression and I feel my stomach flutter. Come on, Alex, hold it together!

We all proceed to draw our next cards. Louis' cheer of "booyah" tells me that he has the highest card. Dammit, I am so shit at this, and I don't even have to do anything! Louis gives me a quick wink. Uh oh. What is he planning?

"So, uh, ever had like, a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend?" he asks cautiously. Oh no, he is not doing what I think he's doing? Next thing you know he's going to ask whether she has a crush on someone, and I will be forced to stab him! I feel myself reddening so much, I use a hand to cover my face, and keep staring straight at wooden patterns of the bench we're sat at.

"Something wrong, Alex?" Clementine's voice rings from beside me. I don't dare look at her.

"Nope, nope, I'm fine," I quickly reply, my voice cracking slightly. I look up at Violet and mouth make him stop.

"Oh my god, what sort of question is that?" Violet asks angrily, coming to my defence, secretly reprimanding Louis and his crappy attempts at setting us up.

"It happens!" he defends himself. "Perfectly valid question! You know that, Vi, I know that, we all know it! People get together, and it happens more often than you think!"

Oh my god, Louis, shut up, shut up, shut up!

"I... met a boy one time," she answers. What? When did this happen? I feel the heat coming away from my face and I gingerly look up.

"And?" Louis presses.

"We were... friends."

"Just friends?" Violet asks. "Nothing else? Nothing at all?" Clementine freezes, her mind clearly elsewhere, definitely thinking about him. I can sense the emotions bubbling up inside her. It hurts to see her so sad.

"I don't know what you'd call them... but I had some sort of feelings for him." She awkwardly rubs the back of her neck. I feel my throat tighten as jealousy starts to kick in a little. I don't believe this... She liked someone else? What was he like? What if he was better than me? What if she doesn't actually like me? What if I'm reading this all wrong? What if we're all reading this wrong? Shit. "Maybe not exactly love, but... something."

The way she talks about him... it didn't end well. I don't think he made it, but I don't dare ask. Not only is it not my turn, it would definitely push her over the edge. Louis looks at me and I glare back. This is why we don't get too personal in these games! It drags up a lot of painful feelings. I push my glasses up my nose, this time using my middle finger to secretly flip him off. Marlon spots this and laughs.

"What is it?" Clementine asks, clearly perplexed at how this would be a funny moment.

"Oh, just Alex and Louis arguing through facial expressions, the usual," he replies with a good-humored smirk. She looks at Louis, and then back at me. Judging from the face she pulls, she thinks we're the world's biggest pair of idiots. I stub my cigarette out on the table, which is littered with more burn marks. We draw again.

"Holy shit. I win!" I say, surprised.

"What do you want to know?" she asks.

"Bet you're probably bursting with questions, Alex," Louis teases, the shit-eating grin returning on his face. Jesus but I could punch him.

"Um... well... I noticed outside, you didn't have a gun on you..."

"I wouldn't fire outside," she responds carefully, unsure of what I'm getting at, "the sound would draw more of them and we already had enough to deal with."

"What I mean is, not why didn't you use a gun. I was asking why you didn't have one on you, y'know?" Her face drops slightly. "It's just, the Clementine from way back was a badass gun-slinger, and I just wanted to know why that changed." She sits there in silence, not daring to look up at anyone. And I know that I've fucked this up. After a prolonged silence, I speak up again. "I shouldn't have asked that, should I? I'm sorry, Clem, it's not my business."

"It's okay, Alex," she musters weakly, resting a hand on my arm to silence me. The other three look at us, bewildered.

"Is there something we should know about?" Louis asks suspiciously. No answer.

"Leave her," Marlon says. "She's entitled to her privacy."

Louis shrugs before flipping his card, prompting us to do the same. I don't know how the hell she keeps doing this, but Clementine's got the high card, again.

"Worst injury you ever saw?" she asks all of us, forcing her voice to sound more upbeat than she's feeling. I feel like such an ass. What I came up with is the type of question you ask in private, not as part of a stupid game. I mentally kick myself, while Marlon is the first to speak up.

"When we found Alex here, she was in pretty rough shape." He pauses for a second before continuing. "She was trapped in the upstairs of a small store in a town about ten miles away, and the only thing she could do was jump out the window. We were lucky we found her, because the broken glass cut up her arms pretty bad. Blood was everywhere, dripping from her arms and it wouldn't stop. Ruby spent the best part of an hour picking out all the larger pieces, and the little splinters before patching her up. Been part of the group ever since."

"I have a lot of scars across my outer forearms," I add to Marlon's story, rubbing along my arm to demonstrate. "I don't... really like going without my jacket now. It looks pretty bad. Like my skin's shredded, y'know?"

"That's not true, Alex. It looks fine," Louis reassures me, flashing a quick smile before turning to his answer. "My worst injury? Alex and I were scouting at a nearby diner about six months ago, and some guy attacked us."

"That's not how it went down, Lou," I interrupt. "This guy held you up, you got mouthy and he went for you. You're lucky he didn't know I was there, because he would have cut you to ribbons if I hadn't stepped in."

"So what happened?" Clementine asks me.

"This man attacked Louis with a knife, and where I jumped in to protect him, the guy's blade caught my face, here." I trace an index finger along my scar. It was a pretty deep cut. "I pushed him off me and Louis tried to swing at him with Chairles, but before he could hit him, Louis got a solid kick in the stomach. I tried to attack him while his guard was down, but he dodged me, and I crashed into a wooden-top counter. He got his knife and drove it straight through my hand, pinning me." I lift my left hand, showing off the scars: one thin, pink line on the back on my hand, the other on the palm.

"Shit..." Clementine says, her eyes widened with disbelief. "What did you do?"

"The only thing she could do; find something, anything, to use as a weapon," Louis continues, looking slightly queasy. "There was a spoon on the counter. She swung at his face and it went straight into his eye. Blinded him." Clementine gasps, raising a hand her mouth.

"I didn't blind him," I protest, "he still had one eye left," I joke. Judging from the look on everyone's face, it wasn't that funny. I switch the focus of the story. "And you learned a pretty important lesson that day, didn't you Lou?"

"Yes..." he groans.

"And what was it?" I prompt.

"The importance of keeping your mouth shut."

"An autobiography," Violet chips in, a wry smile playing on her lips.

"Nothing like saying something stupid and watching your gir- uh, your friend get stabbed to a counter, huh?" I joke, mentally cursing myself for nearly letting our relationship slip in front of Clementine. Louis and I are good friends, nothing else, and I don't want her to suddenly start being wary of him because of our history. It's not fair on him.

"I've apologized like a million times, Alex! I'm sorry!" Louis exclaims.

"Of course, that's also what happens when you go outside the safe zone. It's there for a reason," Marlon scolds us. Killjoy.

"Marlon, we've said we're sorry, and we haven't been out there since," Louis says. Well, that's technically not true for me. "Everything went to shit for me after that, I learned my lesson." Louis shrinks again. We broke up not long after that incident. The crazy spoon-stabbing girl freaked out the notoriously violent members of the boarding school, so I kept my distance from everyone after that, including Louis. It took a while before the likes of Ruby or Tennessee would speak to me again. Ruby patched me up in complete silence when we got back.

"What about you, Alex?" Violet asks. "You got anything worse than The Spoon Guy?" Our collective name for that incident.

"Yeah," I say softly, "yeah, I do." I hesitate, as I really don't want to say this, but I feel like with Clementine sat beside me, I feel like I should. She knows that I've lost my family, but she doesn't know how they died. I lick my lips, feeling the dips where the scars lie before speaking. "The worst injury I've ever witnessed was..." I sigh deeply. "Was... my brother's death. He got shot in the head... and it kind of, like... when you shoot a melon... you couldn't recognize him." I drift off as I feel a single hot tear run down my face. A mental image I've been trying to avoid thinking of for years. There's a stunned silence at the table, as if no one knows how to react to this story. Finally, Louis speaks up.

"I... had no idea you had a brother," he says softly, unsure where to look.

"You didn't know?" Clementine asks, surprised by this. They all shake their heads. I haven't told them a damn thing.

"Jesus, Lex," Louis says with a little more volume, "when did this even happen?" I feel more tears run down my face as I am unable to answer.

"A couple of years after everything started," Clementine answers for me.

"We had no idea," Violet says with a sympathetic expression. "I'm sorry."

"I'm done for tonight," I say, my voice barely a whisper, getting up to head back to the dorms. "Goodnight guys."

***

Clementine

I feel terrible. What was supposed to be a fun game ended up turning into a bit of a shit show. And now Alex's avoidance makes sense. I have to talk to her and make sure she's okay. I excuse myself from the others before jogging to catch up to Alex, calling after her. She doesn't slow down, and instead picks up her walking pace, storming into the dorm building without stopping. I catch up to her inside, grabbing her arm and dragging her to a halt. She doesn't resist.

"Alex, I am so sorry for what happened back there, I didn't mean to upse-"

I'm interrupted by a sudden hug from her, and her body remains still, almost unmoving. I wrap my arms around her middle and pull her in. It just feels... right, having her this close. I can smell the sharp scent of cigarette smoke clinging to her clothes. At first, it causes me to recoil slightly, but then I sink into the hug more. It's Alex, after all. I want to be near. I want to be close. I want her. More than anything.

"It's okay," she whispers. "It just brought up a lot of feelings, y'know? Stuff I haven't thought about in years."

"I understand."

"It's at that point where I'm starting to forget him. It's awful, Clem. I miss him so fucking much. My big brother... he was always supposed to be there for me."

"I know, I know," I say soothingly, pulling her in tighter. And then I suddenly remember. "I have something that can help." She releases the hug to look at me.

"What is it?" she asks, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"Follow me," I say, and gently lead her back to the dorm room Marlon put me and AJ in. I ease open the door and let her inside, still unsure of what I have planned.

"So, you've been put up in Minnie and Sophie's old room? Neat."

I take off my hat and place it onto the dresser. As she paces around, I find both backpacks that Marlon salvaged from my wrecked car. One pack being mine, the other being Alex's from years back, its blue coloring faded from all the wear-and-tear. There was no way I was going to lose this one, constantly keeping it on me. I hand it to her, and she takes it, but it takes a couple of seconds for her to register what I've just given her. Her eyes widen and her jaw drops as she stares at the bag in her hands, standing still. I don't even think she's breathing while she processes everything that's going on. Without a word, she bolts to my bed, crashes onto it and yanks open the bag. One by one she examines the contents. I go over to join her and watch as she studies her long-lost possessions.

She pulls out her book, the one I read to AJ after I found him again.

"I never got to finish this," she whispers, the sound barely escaping her lips.

"I did, not exactly a page-turner," I reply softly. "AJ liked it though."

"No spoilers!" she says behind tears, knowing exactly what else is going to be in that bag. She pulls out an instant camera, with the initials M.S. etched onto it. Her brother's. The tears spill even more as she turns it over in hands, feeling the weight. She places it on the dresser, before pulling out an old envelope. She opens it up and pulls out a small pile of photographs. She gasps. "You didn't... all of them?"

"All of them."

She examines the first photograph, the one where we're smiling, taken the night Alex was branded by the New Frontier, her silly smile bright and happy, where AJ is sat on my lap, not sure what's going on or what the camera is, pointing at Alex while looking at me as if waiting for me to explain what was going on. She flips it over and reads the message she left for me.

"My savior, my lifeline," she reads. "I didn't know what to do when I lost both of you. I didn't know how to cope. I did some really fucked up shit on the road before I came to this place, like something in me had died that night and I didn't give a damn about consequences or anything." I place my hand on her shoulder to reassure her. "I made it, though," she says with a small smile playing on her lips. She then looks at the next photo, one I had taken, of AJ on Alex's shoulders. We were in the New Frontier's camp, and we could still see Alex's bandages emerging from beneath her sleeve.

"I was still recovering then," she says, wiping the tears from her face. "Once he discovered his love for being carried so high, he would not stop begging for it, would he?"

"He wouldn't," I affirm with a soft laugh. That kid loved Alex before. I just hope he'll still like her now.

We move onto the next photograph. This time, it's of myself and Alex, her arm outstretched where she's holding the camera. We both laugh as soon as we see it.

"Oh my god!" Alex chuckles, "look how young we look! I look so baby-faced."

"You look cute," is a phrase that escapes my lips.

"Right back at you. Christ, I forgot how I looked before I got a knife to the face. That really adds some years to me."

We go through a few more photographs. There's one that I took, where Alex is sat on her camp bed, giving me a thumbs-up and a cute, dorky grin. There's another where I'm asleep in our tent, and I remember what happened when it was taken. Alex took a photo of me drooling my sleep, and the flash woke me up. There's a second photo of me groggily coming to my senses, and a third of me flipping the camera off, a disgruntled scowl plastered across my face. Alex laughs as hard now as she did back then, in response to this merciless mocking, I call her a bitch and start tickling her. She falls back onto the bed, only just carefully putting the photos onto the dresser before I leap on top of Alex, pinning her down. Her shrieks cause me to laugh even harder until tears are streaming down our faces. I'm caught off guard when a well-placed boot to my torso shoves me off the bed and onto my ass, the wooden floor doing little to cushion the impact. Alex stops for a moment and stares at me with a look of horror. Of course, her concern doesn't last long before she bursts into laughter again, clambering off the bed and helping me to my feet.

A quick glance to the dresser causes her to freeze in her tracks. Where she struggled to put the photographs down, the pile scattered across the top of the dresser. She picks up the last photo we didn't look together and examines it, without breathing a word. I peer over her shoulder and look with her. It's a lot more tattered than the others we took. It has a rather young Alex in it, around eleven years old as a guess, with an older man who I presume to be only just in his twenties. His curly, dark hair and unkempt beard gives him a wild look, and the resemblance between him and Alex is unmistakable. Her brother. They have the same sparkling eyes and the same light-hearted grin. Given their messy appearances, this was taken after the world changed.

The man has a golden ring hanging from a cord around his neck. The same one Alex is running her thumb over now. She looks up at me, tears welling up in her eyes again.

"How did you manage to keep all of this stuff?"

"I just... managed to," I reply honestly. It wasn't easy. I nearly lost it helping Kate and Javi seal off the breach in Richmond's defences. It got snagged on the bulldozer as I was climbing off it and the bag nearly tore, spilling all its contents.

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, Alex. It's your stuff."

"Thank you, Clementine. Thank you so much." She places the photograph down gently before turning around.

She steps up to me and pulls me into another hug, except this time, it's slow enough for me to react. I wrap my arms around her neck, and we pull each other in tightly. Alex's warmth is comforting and, in this hug, wrapped in her arms, I realize that this is really what I want. How do I tell her? How do I bring it up? Thousands of these thoughts swirl around my head as I sink further into this embrace, savoring every second of it. I have had years to think about her, and in those years, I realized that I was definitely starting to develop feelings for her back when we were in the New Frontier. I've spent night after night angry at myself for letting the opportunity slide, for not telling her how I feel. I'm not making the same mistake again.

"Alex?" I say softly, my voice a hoarse whisper. Her lips are centimeters away from mine. Should I?

"Yes?" she murmurs, her sapphire eyes locked into mine.

The door bursts open and AJ sprints inside, excitedly shouting "Clem!" We break apart and greet him, who, yet again, always shows up at exactly the wrong moment. Alex flashes me an embarrassed grin before saying goodnight and sliding out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

As I watch AJ draw at the desk, I'm in half a mind to strangle him.


End file.
